You might be… Humor and random trivia

You might be Irish if…

–There are a statue of the Blessed Virgin AND a Celtic cross AND a leprechaun in your garden.
–At least one brother and more than one male cousin have Patrick as a first or a middle name, or at least one sister and more than one female cousin has Mary as a first or a middle name.
–You don’t know anyone who went to Notre Dame, but you root for them every college football season.
–You don’t see what the big deal is about drinking green beer on St. Patrick’s Day.
–You regularly quote lines from “The Quiet Man” and “Waking Ned Devine”.
–You feel a pang of guilt every time you wear orange.
–You know what “Up the Republic!” means.
–You have a welcome mat and/or bumper sticker that says something in Gaelic, and you don’t speak a word of the language.
–You know the right way to pour a “Black and Tan” (half Guinness, half Harp).
–You know why it’s inappropriate to call it a “Black and Tan”.
–You don’t go out on St. Patrick’s Day because “It’s amateurs night.”
–Or you skip work on St. Patrick’s Day to go to a parade and drink in your favorite pub.
–It was a family scandal when one of your siblings/cousins married an Episcopalian.
–If something funny happens to you, it takes you twice as long to tell the story as the event actually was.
–The summer is not complete if you don’t attend at least one Celtic Heritage Festival.
–Anytime you hear bagpipes, you say, “The Irish gave the Scots the bagpipes, but they never taught them how to play.”

You might be from Illinois if:
-you see pizza from other places and wonder why the sauce isn’t on top
-you have a fully developed ‘Chicago Walk’
-you aren’t surprised when your weekend activites include drinking with your friends in just a number of various locations
-you know how to play ‘Pididle’ and know it isn’t a good idea
-you know that Illinois is basically Chicago with a giant farm attached to it
-you yell at people who pronounce the ‘S’
-you think that there are only two seasons
-you and your friends take road trips to the Spam Museum
-you know that you only get on the interstate if you are going to the city, the airports, or out of state

You might be a history major if….
1. You find yourself correcting your parents on their history (especially since the last history class they had was in high school…apparently, my dad thinks that Frank Lloyd Wright was one of the Wright Bros.).
2. You find yourself correcting YOUR PROFESSORS on their history…and they admit they’re wrong.
3. You enjoy watching the History Channel.
4. You tape history biopics.
5. You tape history documentaries.
6. You imagine yourself making commentaries on history like the historians do in the documentaries.
7. Your personal library has several books on history.
8. You buy old, used history textbooks at the Used Book Store.
9. Your parents ask you for questions related to history.
10. Family members ask you for questions related to history.
11. You are preoccupied with what you are going to write your master’s thesis on while you’re at the end of your sophomore year in college.
12. Ever since you got that A in world history back in high school, you’ve wanted to take it over again (though it wasn’t allowed).
13. Your friends back in jr. high kept telling you how “useless” history is.
14. You told your friends how USEFUL history is back in jr. high.
15. You shudder at the thought of majoring in something boring like business or finance.
16. You’ve often pondered things like, “what would happen if Napoleon won the Battle of Waterloo?”
17. You felt the History Channel was dumbing down its audience when they came up with the show called “hands-on history.”
18. You got upset when the History channel cancelled the show, “In Search of History.”
19. You often imagine what it’s like to be in a particular era in time.
20. You’re into your junior year of college and you’re still figuring out what kind of history to specialize in.
21. Various historical figures make your list of “most admired people”
23. Your personal hero lived over 500 years ago.
24. Your #1 destination is the Library at Alexandria
25. You remember the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World and get upset when people get it wrong (which is all the time)
26. You correct mistakes in your history textbooks and you’re in high school.
27. You observe your favorite historical figures’ birthdays and death anniversaries.
28. You got digital cable because that’s the only way you can get the History Channel where you live.
29. You complain about inaccuracies in “historical” films.

You might be a freshman in highschool if…
1. You sign up for every club available.
2. You make a point of dressing like and acting like the social group you wish to infiltrate…
3. …and habitually walk by their “spot” an average of 12.5694 times each lunch…
4. …buying food each time so you don’t look suspicious
5. You walk around pretending to be drunk and/or stoned
6. Someone calls you a tweaker and you say “thank you”
7. You still think guys have cooties…
8. …and still chase them around at lunch
9. “you know, you don’t seem like a typical freshman” is a compliment of the highest caliber.
10. You walk around asking people if they’re “Gothic”
11. You don’t know what a poseur is.
12. Teen magazine is your bible.
13. You are on intimate terms with a trashcan.
You actually fall for that one about the pool being on the 3rd floor.
You shut yourself in your locker when that football playing senior walks by.
You’re the one hanging from the hook in the coaches office because you were in the way again.
–You have no idea what “the Commons” is
–You are the towel boy…for the Arm-Wrestling Club
–“Is this island completely surrounded by water?”
–You ask the school counselor about taking a class in the “custodial arts” cause a Senior suggested it to you.
–Get spotted in the Greenhouse because someone told you it was the Sex Loft.
–Stole a book…from the school library
-you are intimately acquainted with the insides of every dumpster on campus
-you actually bought an elevator pass, and your school only has one floor.

You might be a fear factor addict if…
You say grace like this: In 3…2…1…GO!
You can recite Joe’s disclaimer at the beginning (the stunts you’re about to see…)
You’ve ever cooked with worms
you’ve actually tried to jump from building to building.
You’re used to the taste of buffalo’s testicles.
You stay under water in your freezing cold bathtub for as long as possible.
You tried to escape from your car.
While you were driving.

You might be a classic rock fan if…
1. You can identify every guitar you see by make and model.
2. You have season passes to the rock and roll hall of fame.
3. You’ve restored and STILL run your black 1970 Challenger with flames on the side,complete with 8-Track player and shag carpet.
4. You follow your favorite bands by VW microbus or motorcycle.
5. Any music you owned was on vinyl,8-Track or reel to reel or all of the above.
6. You’ve ever been in a Beatles vs. The Stones discussion.
7. You’ve ever argued the The Beatles were the king of rock and roll and not Elvis.
8. Long hair,floral design button-down shirts,bellbottoms and platform boots are your preferred fashion.
9. You say,”Groovy!” or “Far Out!” when enthused.
10. Most of your days off are spent at the poolhall playing pinball.
11. You saw God when you played Black Sabbath at 78 speed.
12. You idolize dead rock stars.
13. You can remember the exact date members of your favorite bands were born and when they died(HOW they died too),if they did.
14. You own more than one book regarding the history of rock and roll.
15. Your favorite restaurant is the Hard Rock Cafe.
16. You collect concert t-shirts from days gone by.
17. You own a baseball cap that says “Fog” on it.
18. You really believe Van Halen was better when they had David Lee Roth.
19. You own 5 or more copies of Circus magazine from at least 25 years ago and in very good condition.
20. You save newspaper clippings about rock stars’ deaths.
21. You remember when Alice Cooper and KISS were actually shocking.
22. The longer songs are,the better they are.
23. You admire music for guitar and drum craftsmanship.
24. You know that Led Zeppelin AND AC/DC both did a song called “You shook Me All Night Long”.
25. You remember when rock and roll had more than one sub-genre and it all didn’t sound the same.
26. You remember when FM radio was the ultimate escape from mainstream pop.
27. You were hoping to win the lottery when the white Stratocaster that Jimi Hendrix played at Woodstock went up for auction.
28. You bought it for the $1.5-million it went for.
29. Your three favorite movie soundtracks are-Joe Dirt,Free Bird and Howard Stern-Private Parts.
30. You remember buying record albums for the hit singles and you LOVED the album tracks even better.
31. _Stairway to Heaven_ or _Thank You_ were the songs at all 8 of your weddings.
32. You’ve been asked by the salesman to demonstrate guitar models at your local instrument shop–and you don’t even play guitar.
33. Your wardrobe consists solely of tour t-shirts from bands that formed over 25 years ago.
34. And you’re 12.
35. You’ve ever played in a tribute band for any group formed before 1980.
36. You were the lead singer for said group.
37. The last cd you bought originally came out on vinyl. And you still have the vinyl record.
38. You still have a working 8-track player in your home, and you buy 8-tracks for it.
39. You’ve ever created a shrine to the following drummers: John Bonham, Neal Peart, Peter Criss, Carmine Appice, Charlie Watts, Ginger Baker, Mitch Mitchell, Jim McCarty,
Ringo Starr, Chris Slade, Kevin Kelly, Keith Moon, Nick Mason…
40. You can name every single group in which the above drummers played.
41. Your baby could hum every tune from _Dark Side of the Moon_ before she could talk.
42. Ditto with Led Zeppelin IV (Untitled).
43. same with the Eagles’ Hotel California
44. You are aware that Chicago was a hard rock band before they were well-known for their sappy ballads.
45. You owned Boston’s debut album on vinyl AND 8-track when it came out and later on,bought it on cassette AND CD.
46. You can draw The Rolling Stones logo to complete perfection.
47. You can draw Rush’s logo to complete perfection.
48. You know the formal connection between Deep Purple and Whitesnake.
49. You know the formal connection between Deep Purple and Rainbow.
50. You can name BOTH bands Edward King was in.
51. You owned Foreigner’s debut album on vinyl or 8-track and you recently bought it on CD just to hear the bonus tracks not on the original.
52. You own every live album from every band you listen to or have seen in concert.
–(Women only) You’ve ever had a crush on Jim Morrison, John Lennon, or any other dead rock star, and you’re under 30.
–your favorite radio station is called “arrow”, “hawk”, “eagle”, or “fox”
–said radio station plays a block of Led Zeppelin every night at 7:00 p.m.

You Might Be From Chicago If…
1. You’ve ever had to switch from heat to A/C (or vice versa) in the same day.
2. You get extremely irritated when you hear people from other states pronounce the “S” at the end of “Illinois.”
3. Grocery stores have bags, not sacks.
4. You drink pop.
5. You’re convinced that the people who say you speak with an accent are crazy.
6. The names Stevenson, Eisenhower, and Kennedy mean more to you than just political figures.
7. You refer to Chicago as “the city” and to Lake Michigan as “the lake.”
8. You measure distance in minutes/hours.
9. You go to Indiana for fireworks.
10. You think people from Northwest Indiana don’t know how to drive.
11. You get pissed off at the people from Wisconsin who claim YOU don’t know how to drive.
12. Your favorite football teams are the Bears and any team that beats the Packers.
13. Every year at your neighborhood block party, a brawl breaks out over which baseball team is better.
14. You’ve ever used pieces of furniture (like couches, for example) to save your parking spot in the winter.
15. There are no such things as “freeways,” only “expressways” and “tollways.”
16. No cop, no stop.
17. The “L” is more than just a letter of the alphabet.
18. You know that there really is an East Side of Chicago, and it ain’t Lake Michigan!
19. You can’t tie your shoes, but you know the number for Empire Carpet (and the accompanying song) from memory.
20. When you hear the words “North/South Rivalry,” you don’t think of the Civil War.
21. You understand the significance of 708, 312, 773, 630, 847, and 815.
22. Everything south of I-80 is considered Southern Illinois.
23. You carry jumper cables in your car.
24. You know why they REALLY call Chicago “The Windy City.”
25. You can always spot at least one car running in a store parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of year.
26. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing “Des Plaines.”
27. Your school classes were ever cancelled because of cold, whether or not there was snow on the ground.
28. Your school classes were ever cancelled because of heat.
29. You understand what “lake effect” means.
30. You know what goes on a Chicago Style hot dog.
31. “Deep dish” is the only kind of pizza you will eat.