You might be a hipster if…

You might be a hipster if…

  • You eat kale in a form that doesn’t involve cooking it down with some kind of meat fat.
  • You buy clothes from thrift stores for a reason that isn’t purely financial.
  • You live in a neighborhood that people two decades ago wouldn’t have walked through in broad daylight, but paid more per square foot than any other area of town would demand.
  • By the time anyone else listens to a band, you’ve moved on because they’re “too mainstream”.
  • You’ve gentrified every food that poor people used to enjoy before you made it “artisanal”.
  • You’ve paid more for a hamburger off of a food truck than your average person pays for 3 pounds of ground beef.
  • You line up for a half an hour for a food truck that charges more than a decent restaurant would for the same item.
  • You’d pay 500 per square foot for a trailer just because it had wood exterior and a composing toilet.
  • You wear glasses that maximize their presence by their shape or the thickness of their rims.
  • You’ve ever dressed ironically.
  • You seek out beers to drink that have nearly gone extinct due to their waning popularity (and questionable flavor.)
  • You have a ukelele that isn’t a toy.
  • You own a fixie.
  • You are against virtually anything that is mass-produced, but always have the latest iPhone.
  • You’ve spent more on Himalayan salt than normal groceries.
  • You’ve tried to figure out how close to a vegan diet your cat can eat.
  • You’ve retrofitted anything brand new with ancient technology that absolutely no one else uses (an 8-track in your Prius? Really?)
  • You were hipster before it was cool.