If Operating Systems Ran Your Brain
If operating systems ran your brain
Windows for brains:
YouÂ think about one of any number of things at anyone timeÂ but
only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank
asÂ youÂ encounter a “generalÂ protection fault” andÂ asÂ aÂ last
resort you have to re-boot your brain.
DOS for brains:
YouÂ onlyÂ think of one thing at one time,Â andÂ can’tÂ remember
anything else you were meant to be thinking about. You think only
in words and never any pictures.
Unix for brains:
Wow – youÂ can think of lots of things all atÂ onceÂ untilÂ your
brainÂ runs out of sockets. You can only talk though withÂ people
whoÂ have brains made by the same vendor. Unfortunately youÂ also
neverÂ makeÂ any sense and have to read manuals to learnÂ howÂ to
think. Predominantly a random thinker.
CP/M for brains:
AÂ very slow and old fashioned thinker. Any thingÂ youÂ remember
has to be less than 3 letters long.
MVS/CICS for brains:
YouÂ haveÂ a very big and expensive brain. You canÂ thinkÂ about
manyÂ thingsÂ at the one time but never now what otherÂ partsÂ of
yourÂ brain are thinking unless youÂ have set upÂ SNAÂ connections
between sections of your brains. You also need an army ofÂ system
programmers to define what thoughts you may and may not have.
OS/2 for brains:
YouÂ canÂ thinkÂ aboutÂ lots of thingsÂ atÂ onceÂ butÂ needÂ the
equivalent of eighteen sets of encyclopaedias in memory to produce
anyÂ rational thought. No-one supports your way ofÂ thinkingÂ and
many laugh at you whenever you speak.
Mac for brains:
SimpleÂ thoughtsÂ for simple people. Thinking thatÂ looksÂ good,
feels good but is expensive.
Pick for brains:
I now narthing. Narthing Mr Fawlty.
AmigaOS for brains:
YouÂ can think of lots of things at once, even with a veryÂ small
memory.Â TheÂ trouble is that, sometimes, one thoughtÂ startsÂ to
think about the things another thought was using. This leads to a
compellingÂ needÂ to wrap a teatowel around yourÂ headÂ andÂ sit,
crosslegged, on the floor.
Linux for Brains:
You can think of any number of things and not run out of sockets.
Unfortunately,Â thereÂ is no support for yourÂ particularÂ limbs,
ears, mouth or …. thingy…. available yet so you are reluctant
to change over at this stage.