GOTTA  LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE
Â
  A man, and his wife are awakened at 3  o’clock in the morning byÂ
 loud pounding on the  door.Â

  The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken  stranger,
  standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a  push.

  “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3 o’clock in the Â
  morning!Â

  He slams the door and returns to  bed.Â

  “Who was that?” asked his  wife.

  ”Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he  answers.Â

  “Did you help him?” she  asks.Â

   ”No, I did not! It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring
   out there!”Â
Â
  Well, you have a short memory,” says  his wife. “Can’t you
  remember about three months ago when we  broke down and

   those two guys helped  us? I think you should help him, and Â

   you should be ashamed of yourself!”Â

  The man does as he  is told, gets dressed, and goes out into theÂ
  pounding rain. He  calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”Â

   Yes” comes back the answer.

  Do you still need a push?” calls out  the husband.Â

  Yes, Please!” comes the reply from the  dark.Â

  Where are you?” asks the husband.Â

   ”Over here on the swing!” replies the drunkÂ

• You might be a caffeine addict if... you think sleep is for the weak.  you've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend" (Naz) you believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable. you have a website......
• Random thoughts Yet another e-mail forward: I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only......
• You might be making your coworkers uncomfortable if... you reply to all on e-mail announcements about the death of a co-worker's family member with something like, "It's about time." you publicly insist that your employer recognize your chronic body odor as a disability. you enthusiastically pleasure yourself whenever someone hands you a memo. you give yourself a......
• 66+ signs you've been in the [marching] band too long Started by: Lori Dyer When you hear music and you start marking time. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song. When all your friends are in the band. When you don't mind changing clothes on......
• You might be a bad cook if... you call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw. (Geet) you look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water. the smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove. (Marc R) you turn the bowl of rice casserole upside......
• If operating systems ran your car. Posted to: alt.folklore.computers From: David Zykin Date: Thurs, Nov 3 1994 3:02 am MS-DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys. Windows:  You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is......

• Dog Grooming Tips: 6 Easy Ways to Take Care of Man’s Best Friend Owning a dog comes with many responsibilities, like trips to...
• Mahan Clinches Phoenix Open Hunter Mahan defeated Rickie Fowler this past Sunday to win...
• Taking Control of Your Health Care   You should take  your health care  seriously and a...
• The Nap Slave I always believed that I could control my child’s sleeping...
• A Conspiracy of Paper: A Novel (Ballantine Reader's Circle) A Conspiracy of Paper: A Novel (Ballantine Reader's Circle) A...
• No More Mister Nice Guy I used be such a sweet, sweet thingUntil they got...