The following are entries to a contest by TheÂ Â Washington Post, in which respondents had to write a two-line romanticÂ poem…except that the last line had to be as un-romantic as the first lineÂ was romantic.
1. My darling, my lover, my beautifulÂ wife:
Marrying you screwed up myÂ life.
2. I see your face when I amÂ dreaming.
That’s why I always wake upÂ screaming.
3. Kind, intelligent, loving andÂ hot;
This describes everything youÂ are not.
4. Love may be beautiful, love may beÂ bliss,
But I only slept withÂ you because I was pissed.
5. I thought that I could love noÂ other–
thatÂ is, until I met your brother.
6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugarÂ is sweet, and so are you ~
But the roses areÂ wilting, the violets are dead, the sugarÂ bowl’s empty and so is yourÂ head.
7. I want to feel your sweetÂ embrace
But don’t take thatÂ paper bag off your face.
8. I love your smile, your face, and yourÂ eyes
Damn, I’mÂ good at telling lies!
9. My love, you take my breathÂ away.
What have you steppedÂ in to smell this way?
10. My feelings for you no words canÂ tell,
Except for maybe “Go toÂ hell.”
11. What inspired this amorousÂ rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one partÂ lime.