You know you’re from Ohio if…
-You don’t think of Florida first when someone mentions Miami.
-You snicker when someone’s from Tiffin, because you think of the State Hospital.
-You think Pro football teams are supposed to wear orange!
-You’ve heard of 3.2% beer.
-Schools close for the state basketball tournament. Deer season, too.
-You’re proud of your state fair, but would rather go to Cedar Point.
-You know all the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
-You live less than 30 miles from some college or university.
-You know what a buckeye really is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
-“Toward the lake” means “north” and “toward the river” means “south.”
-You’ve heard of the Great Nickel Beer Night Riot.
-You know if other Ohioians are from southern or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouths.
-You root for a college team though you’ve never taken a class there.
-You can spell words like Cuyahoga, Olentangy, Bellefontaine,and Tuscarawas Wapakoneta and you know which letter is doubled in “Cincinnati.”
-You always visit more than two amusement parks in one summer.
-You know that Serpent Mounds were not made by snakes.
-You know what game they’re playing when the Mud Hens take on the Clippers.
-“Vacation” means spending a day at Cedar Point or King’s Island.
-You measure distance in minutes.
-Down south to you means Kentucky.
-Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
-Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
-You’ve ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
-You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day.
-You know what’s knee-high by the Fourth of July.
-You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: “Where’s my coat at?”
-You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
-You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
-You carry jumper cables in your car.
-You know what pop is.
-You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
-Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
-You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
-The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
-You think that deer season is a national holiday.
-You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
-You thought that the Michael Stanley Band was the most popular band in the country.
-You’re still reading this.