More You Might be from Florida if…

You know what Malfunction Junction is.
You know the latitude and longitude of every tropical wave.
Of all the bad four-letter words, WIND is the worst.
you never have more than 20 dollars worth of food in yourr freezer
you think your hall closet or saferoom as cozy
you can cook any thing on a propane grill
you think the $6000 total home generator is reasonable
you’ve ever been to the beach in January
you’ve ever seen an alligator on a golf course
you know the score of the last five UF and FSU football games
you own a puka shell necklace
you consider laying out a sport
senior adults outnumber teenagers 50 to 1 in your town
you call ditches, “canals”
you know a really good shark attack story
your city doubles in size every winter
you think everybody wears shorts and a t-shirt at Christmas
you can tell the difference in an orange tree and a grapefruit tree
you’ve heard tales of a fluffy white substance some people call “snow”
you own a hurricane tracking map
6 feet tall rodents wearing clothes are a common sight
you consider it cold when the temperature drops below 80 degrees
you hear “Orange County” and you think of Orlando, not L.A.
you own a surfboard or know someone who does
you know a homemade cure for sunburn
you’ve ever broken into a sweat walking from your front door to your car . . . in February
you demand a recount
you have a palm tree in your yard
the best restaurants in town have names like Crusty’s or Fat Boy’s
you know where a shuffle board court is located
you hear “casual attire” and think board shorts and a tank top
you own more than one pair of flip flops
you own a “good” pair of flip flops
you never leave home without your sunglasses and your umbrella
you’ve ever gone to the beach on your lunch break
you always carry a swimsuit in your car, just in case
your “winter coat” is known as a wind breaker in other parts of the country
the only suit you own is a wet suit