's humor lists

A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings.

66+ signs you’ve been in the [marching] band too long

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Started by: Lori Dyer

  1. When you hear music and you start marking time.
  2. When you walk behind someone and you’re in step with them.
  3. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
  4. When all your friends are in the band.
  5. When you don’t mind changing clothes on the bus.
  6. When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
  7. When every guy/girl you’re interested in is in the band.
  8. When you like wearing your uniform.
  9. When people ask you about your social life and you say, “Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?”
  10. When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
  11. When someone hits a wrong note and you chew them out for an hour.
  12. When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
  13. When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
  14. When people worry when they see you without you instrument.
  15. When “armed guard,” means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
  16. When band camp is FUN.
  17. When you answer to “Band Nerd.”
  18. When someone says the words “atten hut” and you automatically put your head up.
  19. When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
  20. When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.
  21. When your mouth is frozen to your mouth piece, and it feels normal.
  22. When left slides or right back slides feel normal.
  23. When your instrument has a name.
  24. When you remember your instrument’s birthday and forget your mom’s.
  25. When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
  26. When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
  27. When you give your instrument a birthday party.
  28. When you can make white shoes look black.
  29. When your uniform fits.
  30. When black feathers become a fashion “do”.
  31. When you see your section more than you see your family.
  32. When everyone wants to kill the other football team…and you want to kill the other band.
  33. When you have dreams about early morning marching band.
  34. When you think morning practices should start a half-hour earlier.
  35. When you accidentally call your band director “Dad”.
  36. When you CAN sight-read.
  37. When you can put on you uniform in less than 10 minutes.
  38. When reeds taste good.
  39. When you have a band song stuck in your head, and you tap your foot to the beat.
  40. When you think your plume is alive.
  41. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
  42. When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.
  43. When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
  44. When numbers past 8 aren’t important.
  45. When you’re more opinionated about the Madison vs. American Fork Bands than the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
  46. When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don’t spill your lunch.
  47. When you’d rather practice than read this list.
  48. When letters past G aren’t important.
  49. When the only class you look forward to is band.
  50. When you actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long.
  51. When you wonder what life would be like if you weren’t in band.
  52. When you roll step while you walk to class.
  53. When you major in music.
  54. When you use your high school band director as a role model.
  55. When those stupid “band humor” jokes are the funniest things you’ve ever heard.
  56. When you pick the instruments from the music in cartoons.
  57. When you start screaming “LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!” to the people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
  58. When you’ve dated everyone in the band and now wonder if you’re ever going to have another date.
  59. When you think the trumpeters have a right to be egotistical.
  60. When you don’t think the flutist have a slight attitude problem.
  61. When you change your instrument to the tuba.
  62. When you have perfect pitch.
  63. When the band director is always right.
  64. When you marry that special someone in your section.
  65. When you have kids and force them to be in music.
  66. When you get the jokes on this list.
  67. when you aren’t sure which is more dangerous a girl with a flag or a guy with a gun!
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  • Bubblykitty21

    i’m class of 03 but this stuff still applies to my everyday life!

    ~{@BandGeek For Life@}~

  • LuniasM

    When people call you “God” for learning a piece in one day.
    When you make a musical error and people stare at you open-mouthed.
    When you actually look forward to waking up at 5 am for Band Camp.
    When Band Camp is the highlight of your summer.
    When you can call Seniority on other band members.
    When people look to you for musical advice.
    When people know you as “that one band guy”.
    When you comment on this post…

  • Blablasomething

    When you think above 20 degrees and you’r sweating
    Or when its below 90 degrees and you’re freezing

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