YouMightBe.com’s humor lists

I saw this on-line and did not see a link here.

1. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation
2. You throw an aluminum can in the trash and feel guilty
3. You use the word “sun breaks”, and know what it means
4. You can’t wait for a day with “Showers and sun breaks”
5. You only turn on your windshield wipers to “intermittent”
6. You know more than 10 ways to order a cup of coffee
7. You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice its value
8. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho
9. You know the exact location of 15 drive-thru espresso stands in your neighborhood
10. You stand on a deserted street corner in the rain, waiting for the “Walk” signal
11. You know more people who own a boat than an airconditioner
12. You obey all traffic laws, except “Keep right, except to pass”
13. You let other drivers merge in front of you
14. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Seattle’s Best Coffee, and Veneto’s
15. You consider swimming an indoor sport
16. You think that if it has no snow on it, or has not erupted recently, it’s not a real mountain
17. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, and Thai food
18. You understand what people mean when they say “pop”
19. You consider a floating bridge a pain in the butt, not an engineering marvel
20. You know what lutefisk is (visualize Ballard, ufdah)
21. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a really fancy restaurant
22. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you can’t see through the cloud cover
23. You personally know someone from Alaska
24. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists
25. You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner
26. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Rainier, and Issaquah
27. You used to live somewhere else, but won’t admit it publicly
28. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon
29. You knew immediately that the view out Frazier’s window was fake
30. You are amazed at an accurate weather forecast
31. You switch to your sandals when it gets above 60 degrees, but keep your socks on
32. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain
33. You would be miffed if the store were out of your favorite brand of water
34. You have ever ordered a “half caff/decaf, nonfat mocha grande with raspberry whip” (or know what it is)
35. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50�, but still wear your hiking boots and parka
36. You feel you’ve grown up with Bill Gates and can’t figure out why people can be so mean to him
37. You know the difference between “Today’s Forecast: showers followed by rain”, and “Tomorrow’s Forecast: rain followed by showers”
38. In the winter, you go to work in the dark, come home in the dark, and yet only put in an 8-hour day
39. The bride & groom registered at REI
40. If someone ran your car off the freeway, you might drown
41. Half your friends work at Microsoft and Boeing
42. Fifteen blocks away is a good parking spot
43. You read the Stranger for the personal ads, even if you’d never answer one of them!
44. You try to read a book and drive at the same time
45. “Capitol Hill” doesn’t mean legislation, it means drag queens
46. If the temperature gets over 80 degrees Fahrenheit, it’s a “heat wave”
47. If the temperature goes below 20 degrees Fahrenheit, it’s “record cold.”
48. 40 days and 40 nights of torrential rain doesn’t sound like Biblical floods - it sounds like a typical spring.
49. The guy in the $5000 suit is the vice president of the company. The company’s president is the guy in Dockers and a polo shirt.
50. When someone says he’s cruising for Dicks, you know he’s not soliciting you - just hungry.
51. If you know what “Acres of Clams” is
52. If you put an empty soda can in your purse to recycle it later
53. If summer begins with Folklife and ends with Bumbershoot
54. If you consider a beer list to be equal to the wine list.
55. Seven blocks of alternating one-way streets seems perfectly logical

* You have ever gone to a movie with notebooks and pens for taking notes on the scenes.

* You can find slash elements anywhere

* You have ever written a PWP

…for a children’s cartoon. (NOT Anime)
* You’re over 30, and can honestly admit that you’re buying the Harry Potter books for yourself

* So you can write your OWN version of the ending.

* When someone says “lemon” or “lime,” you don’t think citrus fruit.

* You have ever SERIOUSLY contemplated what the hobbies of the Evil Overlord would be aside from the usual “World Domination.”

* And written a story with said Evil Overlord spending a quiet afternoon with his daffodils and a bridge game.

* You have gone through the Evil Overlord’s list and done a checklist of all the ones the one of your particular fandom forgot to screw up.
…So you can write a fic where they DO!
* You have ever been in a serious debate over which fandoms can cross over with which other fandoms.

* And pulled off one of the ones they said “wouldn’t work”

* The name “Mary Sue” causes you to wince

* And proceed to hide all the evidence of the one YOU wrote!

*

GOTTA  LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE
 
  A man, and his wife are awakened at 3  o’clock in the morning by 
 loud pounding on the  door. 

  The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken  stranger,
  standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a  push.

  “Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3 o’clock in the  
  morning! 

  He slams the door and returns to  bed. 

  “Who was that?” asked his  wife.

  ”Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he  answers. 

  “Did you help him?” she  asks. 

   ”No, I did not! It’s 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring
   out there!” 
 
  Well, you have a short memory,” says  his wife. “Can’t you
  remember about three months ago when we  broke down and

   those two guys helped  us? I think you should help him, and  

   you should be ashamed of yourself!” 

  The man does as he  is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the 
  pounding rain. He  calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?” 

   Yes” comes back the answer.

  Do you still need a push?” calls out  the husband. 

  Yes, Please!” comes the reply from the  dark. 

  Where are you?” asks the husband. 

   ”Over here on the swing!” replies the drunk