Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.
Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you,or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.
The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.
A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn’t have anything to lose.
Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it’s a chance to stretch your legs.
Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It’s a good way to scare people entering the highway.
Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.
Just because you’re in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn’t mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn’t think he can go faster in your spot.
Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey.
Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.
Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers’ reflexes and keep them on their toes.
It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don’t move the instant the light changes.
Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first,by whatever means necessary.
Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
Real New Jersey men drivers can remove their girlfriend’s panties and bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
In the New Jersey area ‘flipping someone the bird’ is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.
you know that the only people who call it “Joisey” are from New York(usually The Bronx)or Texas.
you don’t think of citrus when people mention “The Oranges.”
you know that it’s called “Great Adventure,” not “Six Flags.”
you’ve ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast.
you’ve known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
you’ve eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 am.
whenever you park, there’s a Camaro within three spots of you.
you remember that the “Two Guys” were from Harrison.
you know that the state isn’t one big oil refinery.
at least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from.
you know what a “jug handle” is.
you know that a WaWa is a convenience store.
you know that the state isn’t all farmland.
you know that it isnt “The Beach” in New Jersey – it’s the shore, and you know that the road to the shore is “The Parkway” not “The Garden State Highway.”
you know that “Piney” isn’t referring to a tree.
even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs, and, you call it a “sub” not a “submarine sandwich” or worse yet, a “hoagie” or a “hero.”
you remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials.
you know how to properly negotiate a Circle.
you knew that the last question had to do with driving.
you know that “Acme” is an actual store, not just a Warner Bros. creation.
you know that this is the only “New…” state that doesn’t require “New” to identify it (like, try …Mexico, …York, …Hampshire (doesn’t work, does it?).
you only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it “The City.”
you consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege.
in the 80’s you wore your hair REALLY high. (wait, didn’t everybody??)
you don’t think “What exit” (do you live near?) is very funny.
you know that the real first “strip shopping center” in the country is Route 22.
you know that people from 609 area code are “a little different.”
you know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton – that’s for out-of-staters.
the Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
you live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
you can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town.
you refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
every year, you had at least one kid in your class named Tony.
you know where every “clip” shown in the Sopranos opening credits is.
you’ve gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of Willowbrook Mall.
you’ve eaten a Boardwalk cheesesteak with vinegar fries.
you have a favorite Atlantic City casino.
you start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.
you’ve never pumped your own gas. (Chris) Took me forever to get this one…
you know how to navigate a circle while talking on a cell phone and smoking a Marlboro w/o using blinkers. (Mandie)
every 3 miles you drive there is a deserted mall.
most really nice homes have a gas station and a junk yard next door to them.
you never tell the truth about what state you’re from when strangers ask you in a chatroom.
most of your cash is in dimes and quarters.
even after moving to California, you still carry a separate change purse full of quarters and dimes for tolls. (Diane)
you learned to drive by backing out of your driveway onto a 50 MPH road. (visitor submission)
you have the shop install lumps and dents into your fenders so others will know that you have the strength in convinction to change lanes. (visitor submission)
you take kick-boxing lessons hoping someone will tell you the two weeks in
New Jersey prize joke. (visitor submission)
you know where highway 9 is from that Bruce Springsteen song.
