You might be a STEELER fan...

From the original page: "This whole thing started out back in 1995 on the Steelers newsgroup... Our thanks to the contributors. No material will be used without gratuitous acknowledgement of the originator herein."

Part I: The Originals

The original post, from Dr Cos, circa 9/95:

• You hate ANYTHING brown (except maybe chocolate milk).
• You think "Green" is an expletive.
• You think "Greene" is an exclamation.
• You believe that if "Cowher Power" could be harnessed, we wouldn't need alternative energy sources.
• You subscribe to the "ROD is GOD" theology.
• You know what the phrase "3 more yards" means.
• You share the feeling that Vinny Testaverde/Bill Belichicken are the two best things to happen to the clowns (from a 3 Rivers point of view)...

From: Pat Vest <thoreau@thoreau.seanet.com>

• The colors at your wedding are Black and Gold.
• Your idea of dressing up is putting on a new Steeler jersey.
• Your life began with the immaculate reception.
• You name your kid Lynn Swann.
• You sing the fight song "We're from the town with the great football team..." at all social functions.

From: Russell J Steele <rsah+@andrew.cmu.edu>

• If all of your kids are named after Steelers linebackers (even the girls).
• If you remember important dates in your life by dates in Steelers history.
• If you run around the office pouncing on co-workers and yelling in their ears "You failed to AVOID LLOYD!!"
• If you have ever gotten fired for punching your boss just because he said "the Browns and Raiders aren't that bad."
• If going to church means putting on a Steeler's hard hat, painting your tummy black and gold and going tailgating at 7:30 A.M. for a Sunday night game.
• If you still wake up nights in a cold sweat swearing about Dennis Gibson and Barry Foster.
• If you become so excited about the season you begin to shake in anticipation for the first day of training camp.

From: Kramer <c597456@showme.missouri.edu>

• You go into uncontrollable spasms when you hear the words "Mark Malone" or "Cliff Stoudt".

From: Cindy Schwenk (schwenk@mesa.k12.az.us)

• When you spend an extra $100 to change your travel arrangements so you can use those 'free' tickets to a Steeler home game.
• You take every opportunity to rub it in to your boss, who's a Browns fan.

From: Steve R Montreal (stever@alpha2.csd.uwm.edu)

• You choose lottery numbers based on the jersey numbers of your favorite players.
• When the Steelers' playoff games are on TV, your family has to leave the house.
• You still haven't been able to watch your taped copy of the Charger game.

From: BlueMonstr (bluemonstr@aol.com)

• You drive all your Southern California co-workers nuts because as the new season approaches you tell them every minute detail about the team you love so much.

From: "stryker gregory ; undc" <gstryk1@gl.umbc.edu>

• If you got excited when the Browns unloaded Kosar for Vinny!
• If you sleep with a Terrible Towel!
• You dump your significant other after learning that they are secretly a Browns fan.
• If you eat black and gold!

From: Pat Vest <thoreau@thoreau.seanet.com>

• You marry a Cowboys fan and convert her.

From: MILLER (mille922@cs.uidaho.edu)

• You once got in a fight because the other guy had the audacity to wear his Bengal jacket in front of you.
• You memorize telephone numbers by remembering the current Steelers jersey numbers that correspond.
• You've made a lot of money betting on the Steelers, especially Atlanta on Monday night.
• You chuckle and shake your head uncontrollably when you hear the name "Carlson".
• You wish you knew where Lasko was.
• You think Carnell Lake might as well be put in the Hall of Fame now!
• You get excited, start sweating, your throat gets dry, and your fingers start twitching when you hear the date September 4th.
• You live in IDAHO and communicate with Steeler fans every day!

From: V'Ali Ford (valley@tomcat.engin.umich.edu)

• You stay up nights wondering how we got into the '84 AFC Championship game.
• You stay up nights wondering where Louis Lipps is and can he make a comeback.
• You can't listen to music groups like Three Dog Night and Snoop Doggy Dogg because of its implications.
• You deprive your roommates of watching 90210 marathons to watch Steeler games.
• You invite CJ to catch your first born child at birth.
• You've never been to a Steeler game and you're STILL a 16 year fan.

From: Brian Lytle <blytle@ee.net>

• When you plan to go to the Football Hall of Fame (Steelers' Wing) for your honeymoon! True story.

From: Robert S Houk (rshouk@iastate.edu)

• Your favorite "cosmetic" is toilet paper with a rival quarterback's picture on every sheet.

From: Lane Kelly (lkelly@infi.net)

• If you own a shirt that has a picture of Bubby Brister on it and it says "Yes We Can!"
• You have Myron Cope's autograph.
• During your wedding vows, you blurt out "Umhah!" or "Yoy and Double Yoy!"
• You take a terrible towel to the beach.
• You purchased one of those hideous "throwback uniforms."
• Your license plate says 14THUMB.
• You remember when Terry had hair.
• When your son gives you a soda, you throw your sweaty shirt at him.
• You buy Iron City beer (because it has Lambert on the can).
• You get excited about some guy named "Yancey."
• You have Cowher Power.