You might be a physics major if

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Originally published by Hosted on a Geocities humour page (Area51/9455); no author credited on the page itself at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/9455/physmaj.html. Retrieved from the Wayback Machine archive (captured 2002-02-07) and reproduced here for archival purposes -- credit for the jokes belongs to the original author, not youmightbe.com.

if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
...if you enjoy pain.
...if your pets lead more interesting lives than you do.
...if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
...if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
...if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
...if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
...if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
...if you always do homework on Friday nights.
...if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
...if you think in "math."
...if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
...if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
...if you have a pet named after a scientist.
...if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
...if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
...if you can translate English into Binary.
...if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building which says "Exit."
...if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
...If you are completely addicted to caffeine.
...if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.
...if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
...if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.
...if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.
...if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
...if you understood more than five of these indicators.
...if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.