Originally published by Sportin Graphics Inc. (sportingraphics.com), with reader submissions credited below. By October 2002 the domain was parked, so this is the last full copy the Wayback Machine has at http://www.sportingraphics.com/climb7.htm. Retrieved from the Wayback Machine archive (captured 2000-03-01) and reproduced here for archival purposes -- credit for the jokes belongs to the original author, not youmightbe.com.
- I'll need plenty of protection for this one.
- Want to use my rope or yours?
- Go ahead and tie in while I get my protection out.
- I hate it when my protection fails!
- That crack is big enough for your whole fist.
- I'm getting tired of hanging here, but I want to try it one more time.
- Better take a good selection of nuts.
- I wish I hadn't lost that piece of protection in the crack.
- Make sure you anchor in; I'm a lot heavier than you.
- Wow, what a great crack!
Submitted by Tom Wheeler.
Reader submissions
- Wow, Nice Rack! (Laura)
- "Can you give me a belay?" (Greg Stemler)
- Wow, did you see that girl's rack. (Habib)
- Can I see your balls. (Habib)
- Did you see the way she fingered that crack. (Habib)
- I need to clean my balls. (Habib)
- Said to a girl "hey, you got white stuff all over your face". (Habib)
- What a greasy crack. (Habib)
- Said to a girl "hey, can I use your rack for awhile?". (Habib)
- Help me get tied in. (Habib)
- You'll like this harness. (Habib)
- My fist just wouldn't fit, so I went to a hand jam. (Doug Robertson)
- "You'll need some of my nuts for that crack." (Jim & Laura)
- Your the best belay I've ever had. (Paul Jacobson)
- Said to Bobbi Bensman: Hey, nice rack, how much did it cost? (Devin Wood)
- "I'm greasing out of this crack, take me." (Ken Ford)
- "Finger the crack and then reach for the knob." (Ken Ford)
- "I'll need my micro friend for this crack." (Ken Ford)
- "The only thing that will fit in that crack is a big bro." (Ken Ford)
- "Use your nut tool to get the protection out of that crack." (Ken Ford)
- "This crack is so wide that you have to squeeze your whole body into it." (Ken Ford)
- "Time to use 'Big Mama' (the name of my #5 Camelot)" (Ken Ford)
- "That crack looks nasty." (Ken Ford)
- "It is a nice crack, except that it was little slimy." (Ken Ford)
- "Swing your tool and flick it at the end to really make it stick." (Ken Ford)
- "Lock off on tool and then reach for the knob." (Ken Ford)
- Heard on a route: "if you can get your legs up a bit and a bit further apart..." (R. Dulieu)
- "This thing dangling gets in the way" (R. Dulieu)
- Heard from a tent while using a thermarest: "it stayed hard all night" (R. Dulieu)
- Boy, you really jammed your nut into this crack (Timothy Norwood)
- This crack really needs to be cleaned! (Timothy Norwood)
- Man buying aid gear: "I have a hooker but I need some protection to go with it."
- "Spread you legs far apart to stay balanced on this part of the climb. If you want to you can place a cam in that crack."