Originally published by a joke collection on danbbs.dk (~hydrk) that credited no author at http://www.danbbs.dk/~hydrk/jokes/jobs/trouble.html. Retrieved from the Wayback Machine archive (captured 2002-10-16) and reproduced here for archival purposes -- credit for the jokes belongs to the original author, not youmightbe.com.
You can tell if your company is in real trouble if it's like this:
- Your performance-related bonus: grocery coupons from last Sunday's paper.
- The rats in the canteen are mumbling, "We're outta here."
- Printed at the bottom of your paycheck: "Tune in next time for the shocking finale."
- The receptionist has started asking visitors, "Do you want fries with that?"
- Last year's Christmas party was held in the parking lot, where you were served Rice-a-Roni and Kool Aid.
- The bank suggests that instead of creating new or better products, the company raise money with a bake sale.
- Your ads read, "We lost less than Nick Leeson."
- The CEO tries to cover business lunches with food stamps.
- The CFO's latest plan for raising venture capital: goes to Wall Street with a Styrofoam cup and a sign reading, "Wife and 400 employees to support."
- Stationery cabinet now stocked with large cardboard signs reading, "Will work for food."