Originally published by (c) 1998 Humor Space (admin@humorspace.com) at http://www.humorspace.com/humor/lists/larizona.htm. Retrieved from the Wayback Machine archive (captured 2002-02-07) and reproduced here for archival purposes -- credit for the jokes belongs to the original author, not youmightbe.com.
- You've signed so many petitions to recall governors you can't remember the name of the incumbent.
- You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
- You can say "Hohokam" and people don't think you're laughing funny.
- You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
- You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the Salt River.
- You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
- You can hear the weather forecast of 115 degrees without flinching.
- You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour... and it'll be over 100 degrees.
- You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
- You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
- You know you can make sun tea instantly.
- You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
- The best parking place is determined by shade -- not distance.
- You realize that "Valley Fever" isn't a disco dance.
- Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
- You can pronounce the words: "Saguaro", "Tempe", "San Xavier", "Canyon de Chelly", "Mogollon Rim" and "Cholla".
- It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and yet all the streets are totally empty of both people and cars.
- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
- Sunscreen is sold year round, kept right at the checkout counter.
- Sunscreen w/a formula less than 50 spf is a joke.
- You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mailbox.
- Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them.
- Worse -- some fools actually try to jog.
- You know that hot air balloons can't rise, because the air temperature is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
- No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
- You can understand the reason for a town named "Why".