Originally hosted at http://www.youmightbe.com/product.asp. Retrieved from the Wayback Machine archive (captured 2003-02-14) and reproduced here for archival purposes.
One-liners, ad slogans, and product bashing -- from the original site.
On Windows NT (4.0)
- The most stable operating system that will run absolutely nothing.
- ...But not on absolutely nothing: 384 MB RAM, Dual-PII 400, 11.4 GB HD recommended.
- All this from the company that abandoned OS/2.
- Plug 'n play? Are you kidding?
- All the headaches of Unix, but in a pretty, windowed environment.
- It doesn't support Plug 'n Play modems, but it will run on multiprocessor system.
- ...We support Plug 'n Play devices, just not Plug 'n Play...
On Windows 95
- Don't get used to anything, we're just going to change it for Windows 98.
- The operating system that started out being backwards compatible, and ended up incompatible.
- It's taken us this long to copy the work we did for Apple, and we almost got it right this time!
On Windows 97
- Buy Windows 98.
- More vapor here than at the mouth of a gas can.
- It seemed reasonable back in '92.
- It's the government's fault that we won't be able to release on time.
On Windows 98
- Buy Windows 99.
- Honest... We'll ship it to you someday. In the meantime, how would you like to buy a copy of Windows 3.1?
- ...It doesn't require you to have Internet Explorer on your system.
- This time, it really is the government's fault that we're not releasing on time.
On OS/2
- A Microsoft Beta Test at IBM's expense.
- The dinosaur that doesn't realize it's extinct.
- The root cause of the only guilty feelings Microsoft has: after all, they started it.
- We haven't changed our interface like Microsoft keeps doing.
- ...And it's not because we lack creativity.
On Unix
- At least our operating system comes with source code.
- You want windows, we'll do windows.
- Commands that are rough on the memory, light on the fingers.
- The only glitch in the modern computer world that Bill Gates cannot be held responsible for.
On Visual Basic 5.0
- The language to learn if you don't want to learn a language.
- All of the features of Object-Oriented programming, without the inconvenience of a structured programming language.
- Same old basic, with a few stolen ideas from Pascal and C++ and a few prepackaged API calls.
- Your applications will run up to fifty times faster -- never mind the fact that they took an hour to run before.
- Any inadequacies in previous versions were not intentional, and absolutely not put there to make this release look better.
- Why use a compiler that includes standard controls, when you can purchase them individually instead?
On Visual C++
- For all of you that are above "simple" development environments like Visual Basic, we bring you our version of C++.
- So improved, we dare you to try to do anything that we haven't already implemented.
- We don't really work on this product because Visual Basic is so much more profitable.
On Internet Explorer (4.0)
- Sorry that it took four releases <snicker> to get a product that works.
- 1,500,000 beta versions and counting!
- 2,000 "final releases" and counting.
- As a result of our recent success, we've hired one thousand monkeys previously assigned to duplicating the entire works of Shakespeare.
- We're not really interested in the browser business. We just felt like making another company suffer.
- Why use that other browser when we'll revoke your license to use our operating system if you do?