You Might be from Las Vegas if…

  • You no longer associate bridges (or river) with water.
  • You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
  • You can make instant sun tea.
  • You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
  • You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
  • You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
  • You’ve ever been asked whether or not you live in a hotel.
  • Most of the moving walkways in your town aren’t in the airport.
  • You can instantly recall the schedule for all of the free shows.
  • You can name at least three places to see white tigers, and none of them are zoos.
  • You’re familiar with the proper procedures for killer bee attacks.
  • You can find more celebrities in your town at any given time than you can in Hollywood.
  • You see people dressed as Klingons, and there’s no Star Trek convention, and it’s not Halloween.
  • You wonder how confused future archaeologists will be when they dig up your town.
  • The only two Lakes you can name are “Mead” and “Bellagio”.
  • Your town is basically a big garbage disposal for cash.
  • You know when the next building implosion is.
  • You know what lies beyond the Strip.