You might be Filipino if…

  • you don’t see a problem with spaghetti [with sauce], white rice, and fried chicken on the same plate.
  • you take brownies to non-Filipino potluck dinners.
  • you have a cartful of corned beef during a sale.
  • you say kutex instead of nail polish.
  • you are stumped when asked what kind of bread in a deli.
  • you’re the plane passenger with the largest hand-carry luggage.
  • you scratch your head when you don’t know what you’re doing.
  • you don’t want to eat the last piece of food on the plate, but offer it to others.
  • you say “she” when you should say “he”
  • you say “ano” this and “ano” that
  • you put your hands together and point them in the direction you are walking to pass between other people
  • you say that everybody is your cousin/niece/nephew/aunt/uncle/…
  • you have a big Buddha at home for good luck( not the serene Buddha like what the Thais have, but the big, fat, laughing one with those pesky little kids crawling all over him).
  • you bring a “baon” to work everyday.
  • your ice cold beer really has ice cubes in it.
  • you eat balut and wash it down with beer to bulk up.
  • you have a parol hanging outside your house during the Christmas holidays.
  • you say things sorta backwards like towelpaper instead of papertowel and stick bread instead of breadsticks.
  • you say guper instead of gopher.
  • you eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
  • you say “aray” instead of “ouch “.
  • you look up and say “ha!” when somebody says “what’s up”.
  • you write “Filipino” but pronounce it as “Pilipino”.
  • you can sustain jokes like this one indefinitely.
  • you often say ‘Bulaga!’ when you want to scare someone.
  • you fire your gun like crazy on new year’s eve
  • you drive a jeep with your family name written on the back.
  • you preceed anything pluralized with “mga.”
  • you put a little bowl of patis on the table for dipping, and your guests complain “who farted.”
  • you cover your living room furniture with bed sheets.
  • you have toyo circles on your table cloths.
  • you wash and reuse disposable styrofoam cups, forks and spoons and of course, aluminum wrapper (Reynolds wrap) or cover paper plates with waxed paper so you can reuse it.
  • you cover your carpet floors with plastic liners.

Also:

  • your house smells like mothballs [I think we switched to cedar, but still, the mothball smell remains.]