You might be in the army if…

*  hoah! is your answer to every question in life. (jlewis)
* you make your kids pull fireguard and cq.
* your family’s favorite hair style is a high and tight.
* you wont let your wife go to the px because the laundry room failed inspection.
* you have a perimeter set up around your house that even rambo wouldn’t want to full with.
* your kids weekend pass status is determined by their pt scores.
* you see no problem with wearing BDU’s to church.
* “lights out” is at 2100 hrs every night.
* you make your kids fill out a sick call slip when they stay home from school.
* smoking has two meanings for you.
* your kids can do the 15 count inspection arms in their sleep.
* From JumpinKerkie:
o you place sector stakes on the front porch.
o when camping, your family must dig a defelade for your RV.
o your kids must clear housing when they leave for college.
o your baby’s first words are “All ok, Jumpmaster!”
o your kids must perform ten pull-ups before entering the dining room.
o your wife’s favorite lipstick colors are loam and light green.
o your car is held together by 550 cord.
o you refer to your son as Boy, Steven Type, 1 Each.
o all of your kids sentences contain at least 7 F words.
* From Ray:
o when “dig in and do the work” really means DIG.
o when “We are in this togather” means you go first.
o when “We will Win easily” means you go first.
o when “understrenth enemy” means you go first.
o when “Victory is near” means you go first.
o when “Rations have arrived” you go last.
* From Kyle:
o you think it is perfectly normal to jump out of an airplane at 800 ft. at 2 in the morning
o you say to your wife “what’s for chow” or “honey that was real good chow”
o any kids in your neighborhood wear a beret when they go out to play
o edge the sidewalk in front of your house with an E-Tool
o your nicest set of clothes is your “Class A’s”
o you cut the grass in a set of jungle boots, Army PT shirt, and cut off BDUs.
o you dread someone saying “I’m from the IG and I’m help.”
* From Miranda:
o everytime you hang up the phone you say “Out” instead of “Bye.”
o you have more sets of BDUs than civilian clothes.
o you annoy your family with your favorite cadences.
o your dog’s name is Ranger.
o you look forward to getting your clothing allowance each year so you can actually shop a little.
o you own more pairs of combat boots than all of your shoes combined.
o you spend your spare time polishing your boots.
o you go bowling with your buddies and as each person goes you yell, “Fire in the hole!!”
o you view going to the field as a camping vacation from work.
o your family eats MREs.
o your family thinks nothing’s wrong when you’ve been gone for at least a month.
o you think waking up at 7am in sleeping in.
o your family’s best friends are in the Army too.
o you can’t tell your parents what you do for a living because it’s classified.
o you jump for joy when you have a few extra bucks after paying the bills so you can get groceries.
o you tell little kids playing hide-and-seek that it would work better in BDUs.
o your stomach can’t handle “real food” anymore, only MREs and T-Rats.
o you can’t understand the fascination people have with being able to drive HUM-Vs around and playing with guns.