You might be a cheapskate if…

I’m wondering if this was submitted by a soon-to-be ex-wife:

You might be a cheapskate if……

1. You concentrate on lowest prices than quality of an item.
2. You’ve ever went Christmas shopping at Goodwill.
3. You bought your wife her anniversary present at a yard sale.
4. Your brand new car will only last 2 years because you will never take it for repairs when needed.
5. You never buy flowers at Memorial Day.
6. You take your wife out for her anniversary dinner to McDonald’s or Wal-Mart snack bar every year.
7. When shopping for groceries,you don’t buy it unless you have a coupon or it’s on sale.
8. You discreetly steal(without getting caught) every chance you get. [ okay, that’s worse than a cheapskate… unless you’re stealing extra ketchup packets–then that’s just sad ]
9. You live in a house built in 1954 and it hasn’t been remodeled since then.
10. You have a bumper sticker that says,”My Other Car Is A Piece Of Shit Too.” and it’s true.
11. You can’t remember the last time you donated to a good cause.
12. You’re not even sure if there was a FIRST time you donated to a good cause.
13. You do not drink alcohol unless it’s open bar.
14. You say you only have 2 bucks when in reality there is 200 bucks in your wallet.
15. You ALWAYS drink water when you go to a restaurant. (unless you think someone else is going to pick up the tab… Then, you order the most expensive beverage they have. )
16. You usually take a bag of chips to covered dish picnics you get invited to.
17. Every year, getting a Christmas tree involves going into isolated woods.
18. You are a smoker and you bum more cigarettes than you buy your own.
19. Your wife’s most common phrase at your home is,”It’s probably broken like everything else around this place!”
20. Your kids get penny candy for Easter every year… from penny-operated gumball machines.