YouMightBe.com's humor lists » twitter http://youmightbe.com/blog A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings. Wed, 14 Mar 2012 13:24:36 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 “Shit Happens” from a Social Media Perspective http://youmightbe.com/blog/2011/03/17/shit-happens-from-a-social-media-perspective/ http://youmightbe.com/blog/2011/03/17/shit-happens-from-a-social-media-perspective/#comments Thu, 17 Mar 2011 15:00:40 +0000 John http://youmightbe.com/blog/?p=317 In the style of the Shit Happens list:

Foursquare:

  • I am mayor of this toilet.

Twitter:

  • That Mexican food hit me wrong. (Someone who is keen on maintaining their “personal brand”)
  • I need to shit. (Everyone else)

Facebook:

  • The inside joke type:  “The Nope strikes again.” [where your inside crowd nickname for a Mexican place goes in the bold italics.]
    • 3 people “Like” this shit.
  • The vague, but obvious reference:  “Glade Floral Scent rocks.”
  • No apologies: “I Shit”

Tumblr:

  • Whoa…  somebody didn’t flush their shit.  Hey, everybody, check this shit out!

StumbleUpon:

  • Post your toilet and have random people shit in it.

Digg:

  • You:  This shit is awesome.  Others:  I’m going to bury your shit.

LinkedIn:

  • Excellent at making sure I flush my shit.

Quora:

  • Why is there corn in my shit?

See also:

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Blog Traffic Exchange ]]> http://youmightbe.com/blog/2011/03/17/shit-happens-from-a-social-media-perspective/feed/ 0 Snow Portmanteau http://youmightbe.com/blog/2011/01/20/snow-portmanteau/ http://youmightbe.com/blog/2011/01/20/snow-portmanteau/#comments Fri, 21 Jan 2011 02:21:12 +0000 John http://youmightbe.com/blog/?p=291 The following are ways of expressing the snow hysteria (especially on Twitter):

  • snOMG
  • snowmageddon
  • snoWTF
  • ohsnowudidnt
  • snoverkill
  • snowicane
  • snopacalypse

Added:

  • Some other snow portmanteau may be found on A Daily Portmanteau: Snowmenclature, including:  snovice, snowhere, snowonder, snowbegone, snowmad, state of snomergency, snoway, snovacaine, snoxious, snowbotomy, snooky, snowcreation, snaction…
  • From TSNONami – tSNOnami, SNOzilla, SNOlycrap, SNOtards, SNOverated, SNOverreaction, SNOverestimated, SNOthingsgonnahappen, SNOba_fett, SNObalWarming, SNOblivion, SNOproblem, SNOwayinhell, SNOtoriousBIG, SNOf__kyourself, SNOflakes, SNOcoholics, SNOtography, SNOtos.
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Blog Traffic Exchange ]]> http://youmightbe.com/blog/2011/01/20/snow-portmanteau/feed/ 0 You might be a Twitter Spammer if… http://youmightbe.com/blog/2009/02/19/you-might-be-a-twitter-spammer-if/ http://youmightbe.com/blog/2009/02/19/you-might-be-a-twitter-spammer-if/#comments Thu, 19 Feb 2009 18:17:52 +0000 John http://youmightbe.com/blog/?p=103 (Tip:  To report spam, follow @spam on Twitter and then direct message the @username – e..g., “d spam @spammer”)

default_profile_biggerYou @-reply people you don’t follow with links.

default_profile_biggerYou still have the default avatar (Hint to anyone who hasn’t yet)

default_profile_biggerYou have been suspended on a regular basis: “Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity. Mosey along now, nothing to see here.”

default_profile_biggerYou have one update, yet you add 100 people to your follow list every day.

default_profile_biggerYou repeat your same tweet w/ blog post several times a day, and freely admit that it wasn’t a technical glitch on the part of your Twitter client.

default_profile_biggerShamwow

default_profile_biggerYour followers count is in the single digits, but you’re following 100-1000 people.

default_profile_biggerYour URL goes to a horribly ugly site with black and red bold sans-serif text, sporadic yellow highlights, occasional ALL CAPS and exclamation POINTS on a white background!!!

default_profile_biggerYou URL has a video of you pulling $2,000 cash.

default_profile_biggerYou are following nor followed by anyone, and regularly send @reply messages advertising your product.

default_profile_biggerYou follow people at random and drop them as soon as they’re following you.

default_profile_biggerYou have a “system” for making lots of money.

default_profile_biggerAutomatic direct messages with links to new followers.

default_profile_bigger“Be-a-magpie”

default_profile_biggerYour “name” associated with your Twitter ID consists of a 6-letter combo of the letters a-s-d-f.

default_profile_biggerAll @replies.

default_profile_biggerNo status updates.

default_profile_biggerNo profile, url, default background…

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Blog Traffic Exchange ]]> http://youmightbe.com/blog/2009/02/19/you-might-be-a-twitter-spammer-if/feed/ 0 You might be addicted to Twitter if… http://youmightbe.com/blog/2009/02/18/you-might-be-addicted-to-twitter-if/ http://youmightbe.com/blog/2009/02/18/you-might-be-addicted-to-twitter-if/#comments Wed, 18 Feb 2009 21:04:05 +0000 John http://youmightbe.com/blog/?p=80
  • There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so.
  • You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life)
  • People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned on.
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  • You see nothing wrong with divulging intimate details of your daily life to 100 or more complete strangers.
  • You actively check friendorfollow to see who isn’t following you back.
  • You qualify every sentence with at least one ‘#’.
  • “It’s complicated,” means that you need 141 characters to tell the story–even after shortening everything to txt abbreviations.
  • You subscribe to news outlets and blogs that feed to Twitter because using an RSS reader is just too much work.
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  • You are obsessed with maintaining your Twitter grade or TwitterRank.
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  • You make a point to say good morning and good night to all of your followers.
  • Most of your nouns begin with “tw” (i.e., tweeple)
  • You tweet from the jacuzzi (from @cheapwebmonkey)
  • You tweet while cleaning the toilets (from @runkerrierun and @runnergoslow)

    • More lists:

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