In the style of the Shit Happens list:

Foursquare:

• I am mayor of this toilet.

Twitter:

• That Mexican food hit me wrong. (Someone who is keen on maintaining their “personal brand”)
• I need to shit. (Everyone else)

Facebook:

• The inside joke type:  “The Nope strikes again.” [where your inside crowd nickname for a Mexican place goes in the bold italics.]
  • 3 people “Like” this shit.
• The vague, but obvious reference:  “Glade Floral Scent rocks.”
• No apologies: “I Shit”

Tumblr:

• Whoa…  somebody didn’t flush their shit.  Hey, everybody, check this shit out!

StumbleUpon:

• Post your toilet and have random people shit in it.

Digg:

• You:  This shit is awesome.  Others:  I’m going to bury your shit.

LinkedIn:

• Excellent at making sure I flush my shit.

Quora:

• Why is there corn in my shit?

See also:

• Peeing Guide to Social Media
• And Buzzfeed: Social Media Explained
• Shit Happens List – Raz-Soft

• You might be a New Yorker if... you know what "call you for it" or "choose you for it" means. you get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you. you can't stand leaving the city because people everywhere else are so nice, it's annoying. you curse....a lot. you believe that if you're......
• You might be computer illiterate if... A list from 10+ years ago... you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge. there is writing on the white-out on your screen -you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-) someone asks you how to......
• Diary of an AOL User One of my favorites from long ago. July 18 I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it's the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me another. I can't connect. I......
• Types of Meetings Meeting before the meeting - A select group of people, usually from the same team, decide what the "correct outcome" of the main meeting is supposed to be. When the main meeting comes, the co-conspirators stick to their guns about what must be done. Meeting after the meeting - Often, the......
• You might be anal-retentive if... you eat the M&Ms in color order. you fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper. From Miranda: you have to have all boxes in the kitchen facing the same way and in order by size. you have all your canned goods organized by type, flavor, and......
• Random thoughts Yet another e-mail forward: I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only......

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The following are ways of expressing the snow hysteria (especially on Twitter):

• snOMG
• snowmageddon
• snoWTF
• ohsnowudidnt
• snoverkill
• snowicane
• snopacalypse

Added:

• Some other snow portmanteau may be found on A Daily Portmanteau: Snowmenclature, including:  snovice, snowhere, snowonder, snowbegone, snowmad, state of snomergency, snoway, snovacaine, snoxious, snowbotomy, snooky, snowcreation, snaction…
• From TSNONami – tSNOnami, SNOzilla, SNOlycrap, SNOtards, SNOverated, SNOverreaction, SNOverestimated, SNOthingsgonnahappen, SNOba_fett, SNObalWarming, SNOblivion, SNOproblem, SNOwayinhell, SNOtoriousBIG, SNOf__kyourself, SNOflakes, SNOcoholics, SNOtography, SNOtos.

• You might be a bad customer if... you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain "That's how they make them at MY country club." Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don't tip. you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum......
• 66+ signs you've been in the [marching] band too long Started by: Lori Dyer When you hear music and you start marking time. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song. When all your friends are in the band. When you don't mind changing clothes on......
• You might be from Louisville (KY) if... your "International" airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48 contiguous U.S. states. (Louisville "would-like-to-be" International Airport) the in-state sports rivalry is paid more attention to than the national championship. you live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes, but has no......
• You might be a spammer if... You put tracking/randomization numbers in your subject lines: Cash-flow-74002006 Your entire message body is composed of images, without any description text. gmail can't seem to "preview in html" the pdf you attached. Your sender name includes one of the following words: panel, notice, meds, travel, survey Note: I said......
• You might be a biker if... going 4-wheeling means your old lady has her own bike. your gloves don't have any fingers. you prefer to pee outside. your beer preference is BEER. you treat your leather better than your woman. you wash your bike more than you wash yourself. rock-and-roll is the only kind of......
• You might be computer illiterate if... A list from 10+ years ago... you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge. there is writing on the white-out on your screen -you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-) someone asks you how to......

• Bear Valley Mountain Resort, Bear Valley, CA Bear Valley Mountain Resort is located in: Bear Valley, CA...
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(Tip:  To report spam, follow @spam on Twitter and then direct message the @username – e..g., “d spam @spammer”)

You @-reply people you don’t follow with links.

You still have the default avatar (Hint to anyone who hasn’t yet)

You have been suspended on a regular basis: “Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity. Mosey along now, nothing to see here.”

You have one update, yet you add 100 people to your follow list every day.

You repeat your same tweet w/ blog post several times a day, and freely admit that it wasn’t a technical glitch on the part of your Twitter client.

Shamwow

Your followers count is in the single digits, but you’re following 100-1000 people.

Your URL goes to a horribly ugly site with black and red bold sans-serif text, sporadic yellow highlights, occasional ALL CAPS and exclamation POINTS on a white background!!!

You URL has a video of you pulling $2,000 cash.

You are following nor followed by anyone, and regularly send @reply messages advertising your product.

You follow people at random and drop them as soon as they’re following you.

You have a “system” for making lots of money.

Automatic direct messages with links to new followers.

“Be-a-magpie”

Your “name” associated with your Twitter ID consists of a 6-letter combo of the letters a-s-d-f.

All @replies.

No status updates.

No profile, url, default background…

• You might be a runner if... the pain of not running is greater than the pain of running. you actually read a novel about running... and its sequel. Inspired by: http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?board=1&id=9545&thread=9545 ...your toenails are black. ...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does. ...you need a magnifying glass to see your name......
• Diary of an AOL User One of my favorites from long ago. July 18 I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it's the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me another. I can't connect. I......
• You might be from Los Angeles if... This list is from the mid-90s as obvious from the third item... you know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm. getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". EVERYONE you know owns a pager and/or cell......
• You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
• You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
• You might be computer illiterate if... A list from 10+ years ago... you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge. there is writing on the white-out on your screen -you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-) someone asks you how to......

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• Make Your Mule Deer Hunts Successful Mule deer hunts are less well known than things like...

1. There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so.
2. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life)
3. People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned on.
4. You can name more than 5 URL shorteners (and TinyURL is not one of them).
5. You have written your own script or program to retrieve tweets.
6. You see nothing wrong with divulging intimate details of your daily life to 100 or more complete strangers.
7. You actively check friendorfollow to see who isn’t following you back.
8. You qualify every sentence with at least one ‘#’.
9. “It’s complicated,” means that you need 141 characters to tell the story–even after shortening everything to txt abbreviations.
10. You subscribe to news outlets and blogs that feed to Twitter because using an RSS reader is just too much work.
11. You have linked rememberthemilk, Google calendar, etc. to your Twitter account.
12. You check Twitter in more than 3 ways in the span of an hour (txt, m.twitter.com, Tweetdeck, website…)
13. You see an unfamiliar “from …” Twitter application or service on someone’s tweet and stop everything to check out that application.
14. You are obsessed with maintaining your Twitter grade or TwitterRank.
15. You take Tweetwasters as a personal challenge.
16. You make a point to say good morning and good night to all of your followers.
17. Most of your nouns begin with “tw” (i.e., tweeple)
18. You tweet from the jacuzzi (from @cheapwebmonkey)
    
19. You tweet while cleaning the toilets (from @runkerrierun and @runnergoslow)

More lists:

• 16 ways to know you are addicted to Twitter
• 5 signs that you’re addicted to Twitter
• Top 10: Signs You’re Addicted to Twitter or Friendfeed

• You might be a Monty Python fan if... everytime you want to change the subject you say "and now for something completely different" you named your website Weasels and Spit when, after coming in from doing hard work, someone asked you what you've been doing you've ever replied "I just spent four hours buryin' the cat" (and......
• You might be from Michigan if... You might be from Michigan if... 1. You're in a foul mood for days if the Red Wings loose a game. 2. You know what Greenfield Village is. 3. You party in Canada on the weekends. 4. You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees out. 5. You don't find sleeping......
• Coffee personalities of the cubicle dweller [/caption] "Who moved my coffee" - Scurries in and out of the break room every five minutes to see if coffee has been made yet.  Moves quickly to avoid being identified as someone who has seen the empty coffee pots and yet not made a pot of coffee.  Related to......
• Your band might be a sell-out if... Your band might be a sell-out if..... 1. Music you wrote and recorded is constantly heard on top 40 radio. 2. You see yourself on MTV more than once a week. 3. You have more female fans than male fans. 4. You went to a mall and saw at least......
• You might be a coffee snob if... -you heat the coffee mug before pouring your coffee -you brew your own coffee at work -...from fresh ground whole beans -...stored in a climate and humidity-controlled environment -...in your own coffee maker -you refuse to patronize Starbucks since they simplified their daytime brew offering. -...and you know the name......
• You might be a bad customer if... you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain "That's how they make them at MY country club." Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don't tip. you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum......

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