YouMightBe.com's humor lists

A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings.

You might be a Twitter Spammer if…

Tags: , ,

(Tip:  To report spam, follow @spam on Twitter and then direct message the @username – e..g., “d spam @spammer”)

default_profile_biggerYou @-reply people you don’t follow with links.

default_profile_biggerYou still have the default avatar (Hint to anyone who hasn’t yet)

default_profile_biggerYou have been suspended on a regular basis: “Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity. Mosey along now, nothing to see here.”

default_profile_biggerYou have one update, yet you add 100 people to your follow list every day.

default_profile_biggerYou repeat your same tweet w/ blog post several times a day, and freely admit that it wasn’t a technical glitch on the part of your Twitter client.

default_profile_biggerShamwow

default_profile_biggerYour followers count is in the single digits, but you’re following 100-1000 people.

default_profile_biggerYour URL goes to a horribly ugly site with black and red bold sans-serif text, sporadic yellow highlights, occasional ALL CAPS and exclamation POINTS on a white background!!!

default_profile_biggerYou URL has a video of you pulling $2,000 cash.

default_profile_biggerYou are following nor followed by anyone, and regularly send @reply messages advertising your product.

default_profile_biggerYou follow people at random and drop them as soon as they’re following you.

default_profile_biggerYou have a “system” for making lots of money.

default_profile_biggerAutomatic direct messages with links to new followers.

default_profile_bigger“Be-a-magpie”

default_profile_biggerYour “name” associated with your Twitter ID consists of a 6-letter combo of the letters a-s-d-f.

default_profile_biggerAll @replies.

default_profile_biggerNo status updates.

default_profile_biggerNo profile, url, default background…

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You might be a spammer if…

Tags:

  • You put tracking/randomization numbers in your subject lines: Cash-flow-74002006
  • Your entire message body is composed of images, without any description text.
  • gmail can’t seem to “preview in html” the pdf you attached.
  • Your sender name includes one of the following words: panel, notice, meds, travel, survey
    • Note: I said SENDER, not subject. A legitimate sender would at least give me a real “from” address.
  • Your e-mail utilizes horribly bad English in ALL CAPS.
  • Your e-mail doesn’t use English at all.
  • Your e-mail doesn’t even use the Latin alphabet (Cyrillic, Chinese, etc… instead)
  • You put the $ sign in the wrong place and use a period for a 1000s separator (10.000$)
  • You specify US for the $ amount.
  • You can’t manage to correctly spell the name of the product you’re selling me.
  • You write in HAX0r
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