YouMightBe.com's humor lists

A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings.

You might be a Twitter Spammer if…

Tags: , ,

(Tip:  To report spam, follow @spam on Twitter and then direct message the @username – e..g., “d spam @spammer”)

default_profile_biggerYou @-reply people you don’t follow with links.

default_profile_biggerYou still have the default avatar (Hint to anyone who hasn’t yet)

default_profile_biggerYou have been suspended on a regular basis: “Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity. Mosey along now, nothing to see here.”

default_profile_biggerYou have one update, yet you add 100 people to your follow list every day.

default_profile_biggerYou repeat your same tweet w/ blog post several times a day, and freely admit that it wasn’t a technical glitch on the part of your Twitter client.

default_profile_biggerShamwow

default_profile_biggerYour followers count is in the single digits, but you’re following 100-1000 people.

default_profile_biggerYour URL goes to a horribly ugly site with black and red bold sans-serif text, sporadic yellow highlights, occasional ALL CAPS and exclamation POINTS on a white background!!!

default_profile_biggerYou URL has a video of you pulling $2,000 cash.

default_profile_biggerYou are following nor followed by anyone, and regularly send @reply messages advertising your product.

default_profile_biggerYou follow people at random and drop them as soon as they’re following you.

default_profile_biggerYou have a “system” for making lots of money.

default_profile_biggerAutomatic direct messages with links to new followers.

default_profile_bigger“Be-a-magpie”

default_profile_biggerYour “name” associated with your Twitter ID consists of a 6-letter combo of the letters a-s-d-f.

default_profile_biggerAll @replies.

default_profile_biggerNo status updates.

default_profile_biggerNo profile, url, default background…

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  • You might be from Los Angeles if... This list is from the mid-90s as obvious from the third item... you know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm. getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". EVERYONE you know owns a pager and/or cell......
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You might be a spammer if…

Tags:

  • You put tracking/randomization numbers in your subject lines: Cash-flow-74002006
  • Your entire message body is composed of images, without any description text.
  • gmail can’t seem to “preview in html” the pdf you attached.
  • Your sender name includes one of the following words: panel, notice, meds, travel, survey
    • Note: I said SENDER, not subject. A legitimate sender would at least give me a real “from” address.
  • Your e-mail utilizes horribly bad English in ALL CAPS.
  • Your e-mail doesn’t use English at all.
  • Your e-mail doesn’t even use the Latin alphabet (Cyrillic, Chinese, etc… instead)
  • You put the $ sign in the wrong place and use a period for a 1000s separator (10.000$)
  • You specify US for the $ amount.
  • You can’t manage to correctly spell the name of the product you’re selling me.
  • You write in HAX0r
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  • You might be a Canadian if... You might be a Canadian if... You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK". You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, i just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know that a mickey and......
  • You might be from Michigan if... You might be from Michigan if... 1. You're in a foul mood for days if the Red Wings loose a game. 2. You know what Greenfield Village is. 3. You party in Canada on the weekends. 4. You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees out. 5. You don't find sleeping......
  • You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
  • You might be a gamer if...   [/caption] You don't think of a Russian bazooka when someone says "RPG". You use game stats to describe things in a movie. (Well, Han just blew his Fast-Talk roll) You use game stats to describe things in real life. You laugh yourself silly when you hear the word......
  • You might be a Monty Python fan if... everytime you want to change the subject you say "and now for something completely different" you named your website Weasels and Spit when, after coming in from doing hard work, someone asked you what you've been doing you've ever replied "I just spent four hours buryin' the cat" (and......
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