1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .
3. She was only a whisky maker – but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated in an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it…..
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’
17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet writes inverse.
21. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
23. Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

• If operating systems ran your car. Posted to: alt.folklore.computers From: David Zykin Date: Thurs, Nov 3 1994 3:02 am MS-DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys. Windows:  You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is......
• If Operating Systems Ran Your Brain If operating systems ran your brain Windows for brains: --------- You  think about one of any number of things at anyone time  but only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank as  you  encounter a "general  protection fault" and  as  a  last resort you have......
• Operating Systems for Your Brain If your brain required an operating system like your computer does, what would it be like? Windows for brains: You  think about one of any number of things at anyone time but only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank as you encounter a "general ......
• You might be a gamer if... You don't think of a Russian bazooka when someone says "RPG". You use game stats to describe things in a movie. (Well, Han just blew his Fast-Talk roll) You use game stats to describe things in real life. You laugh yourself silly when you hear the word "Gazebo". The......
• You might be watching too much anime if... Submitted from http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/4563/toomuchanime.htm you can speak intelligently in Japanese about spirits, demons, war, death, tournaments, magic, and profoundly soppy love affairs, but the prospect of buying a movie ticket leaves you tongue-tied. "hai," "baka," and "hentai" come to your lips so easily that sometimes you have difficulty remembering what the......

• 8 Green Cleaning Tips To Save Money & The Planet. Next time you visit a grocery store, take a look at just how many different cleaning products are on the shelves. It seems these days there's a different chemical concoction for every household chore, from cleaning the windows to the oven. The average household probably has an entire cupboard full......
• Poetic Passion Novella finished - Blood Bound Across Time I've submitted to Ellora's Cave a...I guess it's not quite urban fantasy this time.  More like an urban paranormal time travel fantasy crossover erotic romance.  Assuming they buy the novella, Blood Bound Across Time will be part of Ellora's Cave's Poetic Passion series, which will be released in April or......
• dancing I came across this piece in the New York Times. It's an odd video, and I'm sure I'm person number four million to link to it or write about it. This Matt Harding guy has created quite the little viral video. Bear with it - it seems a little stupid......
• The Beginner's Guide to Stargazing [/caption]Part of the fun of camping, especially for the city slickers among us, is getting away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Living near the bright lights of a major urban area also have one drawback - the light from the city drowns out your ability to see......
• West Coast Salmon Season Called Off From the Contra Costa Times (http://www.contracostatimes.com/search/ci_8557645): Unprecedented collapse in fish population forces cancellation among West Coast states Early season salmon fishing off the coasts of California and most of Oregon was shut down Wednesday by federal regulators responding to an unprecedented collapse of salmon populations along the West Coast. The......