You Might be a Guitarist if…

  • you always carry picks in your wallet, but not necessarily cash.
  • you start a scale in the wrong place, and your wife comes home and tells you she bought a new g-string and you answer, “Cool, Phosphor Bronze or Nickel wound?” ( mojoman )
  • your wife tells you she dented the fender, and you run to the guitar room to check on your strat. ( mojoman )
  • no matter where you are in your house, you’re within 5 inches of a tray of picks.
  • you go through more strings than girlfriends.
  • you tie your shoes up with high gauge strings.
  • you’ve ever been sprayed with water to make you stop playing.
  • you’ve ever taken speed just to play death-metal.
  • you’ve ever threatened someone with physical violence after they bump into the head of your guitar (and caused it to detune).
  • you’ve ever yelled at someone for playing one of your old guitars, that hasn’t been touched in 2 years.
  • you’ve ever dropped what you’re doing to go across town on “emergency pick run.”
  • you can play Stairway to Heaven on any stringed insturment.
  • you take more than one guitar on a 3-day vacation.
  • you’ve ever missed two meals in a row trying to “tab out” a song.
  • you’ve ever stopped playing a song in the middle because of a mistake that no one else noticed .
  • you’ve ever figured out tv commercial jingles/tv show themes just to kill time.
  • someone has threatened to injure you if you play Stairway to Heaven one more time.
  • you have one or more guitar within reaching distance while reading this.
  • you have a strong urge to play your guitar while reading this list.
  • you are reading this list with a guitar on your knee.
  • you have taken a break from reading this list to play guitar.