In the style of the Shit Happens list:

Foursquare:

• I am mayor of this toilet.

Twitter:

• That Mexican food hit me wrong. (Someone who is keen on maintaining their “personal brand”)
• I need to shit. (Everyone else)

Facebook:

• The inside joke type:  “The Nope strikes again.” [where your inside crowd nickname for a Mexican place goes in the bold italics.]
  • 3 people “Like” this shit.
• The vague, but obvious reference:  “Glade Floral Scent rocks.”
• No apologies: “I Shit”

Tumblr:

• Whoa…  somebody didn’t flush their shit.  Hey, everybody, check this shit out!

StumbleUpon:

• Post your toilet and have random people shit in it.

Digg:

• You:  This shit is awesome.  Others:  I’m going to bury your shit.

LinkedIn:

• Excellent at making sure I flush my shit.

Quora:

• Why is there corn in my shit?

See also:

• Peeing Guide to Social Media
• And Buzzfeed: Social Media Explained
• Shit Happens List – Raz-Soft

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• you patronize new places that you have no interest in just because you get more points.
• you volunteer to go to the mall with your significant other because of the travel bonus for each of the 20 shops you’ll hit.
• and you’re really hoping for that overshare badge this time.
• you pull into parking spaces when driving through a park just so you can justify checking in.
• you’ve checked into places without coming to a full stop in your car.
• you add places like an immediate care center, a gas station, and a bank. (@safetyguy1656)
• you volunteer to do a lunch run and encourage people *not* to pick the same location, just so you can get multiple check-ins.
• you’re the mayor of several grocery stores.
• …including all the nearby Wal-Marts.
• …and you really don’t care that no one else ever checks in there.
• you’re the mayor of a biker bar, despite the fact that you’ve never been able to assert yourself enough to get a drink at the bar.
• Your Facebook friends who incessantly post Farmville updates have been unfriending you because of incessant location updates.
• You’ve been denied points for legitimate check-ins because you checked in too frequently.

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• You might be a coffee snob if... -you heat the coffee mug before pouring your coffee -you brew your own coffee at work -...from fresh ground whole beans -...stored in a climate and humidity-controlled environment -...in your own coffee maker -you refuse to patronize Starbucks since they simplified their daytime brew offering. -...and you know the name......

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