YouMightBe.com's humor lists » cat http://youmightbe.com/blog A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings. Sat, 13 Aug 2011 16:33:53 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 You might be a cat lover if… http://youmightbe.com/blog/2010/04/20/you-might-be-a-cat-lover-if-3/ http://youmightbe.com/blog/2010/04/20/you-might-be-a-cat-lover-if-3/#comments Wed, 21 Apr 2010 03:14:11 +0000 Thomas http://youmightbe.com/blog/?p=184
  • your cat has a Twitter account.
  • …and tweets more often than you.
  • …and you @mention your cat in your own tweets.
  • you cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat.
  • you dare not move a muscle when kitty falls asleep at your feet, even if you need to get up and pee.
  • you sleep in the oddest positions, just so you can accommodate your cat, even if he/she chooses to plonk itself in the middle of your bed.
  • sleeping with your cat and getting stray particles of kitty litter from your cat’s claws in your bed doesn’t bother you.
  • you take your cat’s name as your online name.
  • you have your cigarettes outside regardless of snow or rain because your cats disdainfully wrinkle their adorable little noses when they smell smoke.
  • when you’re telling a friend about having to take the cat to the V-E-T, you whisper and your eyes dart furtively around the room to make sure your kitty isn’t within earshot.
  • you cried more than the cat did the day you dropped him at the vet’s to be neutered.
  • you feel naked if your clothes aren’t covered in cat hair. (the Mad Cybrarian)
  • if you own more than one cat and can tell which cat threw up just by looking at the pile. (kecia)
  • From Fluffy
  • people say “what a lovely Angora sweater!” and you say “What Sweater?”
  • the grocery consists of cat food, cat treats, cat toys, and mice.
  • you know all the ingredients in meow mix by heart.
  • you plan your schedule around your cat.
  • you don’t care which part of her body Kitty may have licked before kissing you on the lips! (Bonita)
  • you nuzzle your sweetheart by rubbing your forehead on her.
  • you still kiss your boyfriend after he lets kitty drink the milk while he eats the cereal.
  • you feed them Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner on the good china.
  • your dog coughs up cat hairballs.
  • you take your cat everywhere with you and leave the car on so fluffy can get some a/c and so she can listen to the radio.
  • you take your cat everywhere because you, I mean she have separation anxiety.
  • you yell at Snookums for talking too much. ( katy )
  • you apologize for yellin’ at your darlin’ and tell her you didn’t mean it and tell her she can scream if she wants.
  • when you are done crying you go get a towel to dry the tears off of her fur to make her happy.
  • when someone else yells at your cat for being bad, you say, “Be nice… she’s only human.”
  • your way of punishing you cat for bad behavior is a “Time Out” in the bathroom after explaining that she has been a very bad kitty for tearing up your stuff. ( Lisa )
  • when your cat scratches the heck out of you and your family, you say, “It’s just a phase she’s going through.” (Lisa)
  • when your cat rips off the wallpaper, you take her to a cat pscyhotherapist to discover what is upsetting her and causing her disruptive behavior. (Lisa)
  • you have full conversations with your cats and you think it’s normal.
  • you think that they understand you and communicate back.
  • you have more cat toys than clothes.
  • when you wear black people think that you’re shedding.
  • you get a fish tank and fish as pets for your cat. (Kristy)
  • you take more pictures of your cat then you do of your children. (Susie)
  • you call home during your honeymoon and ask if the children have fed the cat and where is he sleeping and don’t ask if the children are okay. (Susie)
  • your cat eats the most expensive cat food available, but you subsist on macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles (Carrie, ccoleman@sageus.com)
  • you refer to your parents as “Grandma” and “Grandpa”, but you have no children. (Carrie)
  • you force everyone who phones your house to listen to Snookums meow into the receiver. ( Zoe, zobrien@rocketmail.com )
  • your cat has more names than you do. ( Zoe )
  • you spend a date telling your date all about your cats and not one thing about yourself. ( Zoe )
  • each one of your cats gets spoken to in their own individual “special voice”. ( Zoe )
  • you call your own answering machine just so that the cats can hear your voice. (Visitor Submission)
  • you post pictures of your cat on your web page and your spouse has no picture posted! (Michael A. Stuart)
  • you cough up hairballs daily too. (Kelly)
  • your cat has more say than your spouse. (Callie O’ Brien)
  • you write poems about your cat. (Callie O’ Brien)
  • your cat sleeps in your bed more often than your spouse.
  • you don’t need an alarm clock, because your cat wakes you up before the alarm clock goes off.
  • you can eat after your cat. (For all non-cat lovers, it does happen.)
  • you’ve stopped wondering where all the cat hairs that appear on your clothes could possibly come from. (Visitor submission)
  • you’ve stopped caring about the amount of fur on your clothing on the rare occasions when you actually go out in public. (Visitor submission)
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