YouMightBe.com's humor lists » addict http://youmightbe.com/blog A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings. Wed, 14 Mar 2012 13:24:36 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 You might be a caffeine addict if… http://youmightbe.com/blog/2009/02/20/you-might-be-a-caffeine-addict-if/ http://youmightbe.com/blog/2009/02/20/you-might-be-a-caffeine-addict-if/#comments Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:06:02 +0000 John http://youmightbe.com/blog/?p=129
  • you think sleep is for the weak. 
  • you’ve just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o’clock, just so “the milk doesn’t go bad over the weekend” (Naz)
  • you believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
  • you have a website about caffeine
  • you’re on a first name basis with Juan Valdez ( Bruce Campbell)
  • your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.
  • your heart rate is always in triple digits.
  • you know from experience caffeine tablets don’t dissolve in cola. ( Tony Hall )
  • you wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.
  • you can name the five flavors of JOLT.
  • you have a mini-fridge under your desk… and a catheter. ( Daryl Banttari )
  • you drink decaf by accident and slip into a coma.
  • you ask, “Sleep? What’s that?”
  • you go to the doctor because you’re afraid there might be blood in your Mountain Dew stream. (Becky)
  • every coffee company wants to have your picture on their packs of coffee powder.
  • your heart only beats twice an hour and your eyes won’t shut anymore.
  • your wife asked you to buy milk, bread and butter and you heard “buy coffee, coffee and coffee.”
  • your slogan is “Save water, drink coffee.”
  • your child’s name is Nescafe.
  • Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.
  • Starbucks has decided to use you as their official mascot.you’ve ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.
  • you regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign. ( Zoe )
  • you have tattooed across the knuckles of your hands “JOLT” and “COLA” ( Zoe )
  • your birthday is a national holiday in Colombia.
  • you go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.
  • your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
  • you’ve ever used the airplane’s Call button just to get a coffee refill.
  • you’ve ever knelt and prayed before a Starbuck’s logo.
  • your web page has the Mountain Dew color scheme.
  • you can’t remember the last time you blinked. (Ken McKinney)
  • you have on more than one occasion snorted instant coffee. (Ken McKinney)
  • f
  • you have distilled Jolt Cola to make it more potent. (Ken McKinney)
  • you have dark brown colored hair but you are a natural blonde and have never dyed it. (Ken McKinney)
  • the dishes in your house are all coffee cups. (Ken McKinney)
  • your dog’s name is Folgers. (Ken McKinney)
  • you see nothing wrong with using water joe (the caffeinated water) to make the coffee you use to take your no-doze.
  • you believe that sleep is simply a poor substitute for sleep (Psycho Dragon)
  • it’s 6:09 AM and you’re on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
  • you have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
  • you’d rather be beaten over the head with a sledgehammer than give up that first cup of coffee in the morning.  (Caffeine withdrawal is a real headache.)
  • you’ve given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can’t make it 40 days without caffeine.
  • you’ve given up sex, TV, and all forms of meat for Lent before, but STILL can’t make it 40 days without caffeine.
  • you could live in a desert like a hermit, eating bugs for food, as long as you had enough coffee beans with you.
  • you suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.
  • you dip espresso beans.
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