You might be humor lists - Part 2

YouMightBe.com’s humor lists

A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings.

You might be a bad customer if…

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  • you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain “That’s how they make them at MY country club.” Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don’t tip.
  • you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum with a $100 bill then get mad if the cashier can’t give you the right change.
  • you insist that it’s the cashiers job to tell you where the coupon is and have them tear it out for you, then complain to the manager when they don’t comply (and yes this happens almost daily…) ( Sin )
  • you try on the lingerie without any undergarments, and ask the sales associate to give you feedback. (Angela Edwards)
  • you call employees by their first name just because they wear a name tag. ( TiffanyC )
  • you insist that lines don’t pertain to you and proceed to push past everyone else to get to the head of the line, because *you’re* the special one. ( apostrophess )
  • you escort people out of line for having 11 items in the “10 items or less” lane.
  • you walk into a store at 10 minutes to close not knowing what you want and don’t decide for another 30 minutes.
  • you yell out what a GREAT TIPPER you are. ( janicexxwxx )
  • you *return* the coffee because it’s too hot. ( Jorge D )
  • you order water with extra lemon (as if it was supposed to come with lemon).
  • you ask for a discount. No reason specified, just that you should get one. (Dave Tibbs)
  • you get annoyed if a hardware store, etc., does not have the most obscure component in stock, despite the fact that they haven’t sold one in over 20 years. (Dave Tibbs)
  • if you buy 10 cent candy to break a 20 
  • you have to separate transactions for two 2/$1.00 candy bars (but then how would I know how much they are apiece?)
  • you think the Pre-pay sign on the gas pump is for everyone but you.
  • you ask for a bag, big printed receipt, etc, when you feel you have been overcharged for something because you want to get the most out of the company. (Dave Tibbs)
  • You can’t read the signs or coupons correctly, insisting you’re right and all the employees are wrong.
  • While standing in front of the huge of TVs, you ask a salesman, “Is this all the TVs you have?” (Melissa R.)
  • You dare ask for a discount at a restaraunt because your kids didn’t like thier food after they showed their dislike by throwing said food on the walls and the floor (this realy happened) (Melissa R.)
  • you chew out the manager of the local McDonald’s for not cleaning up the place, while meanwhile, your kids proceed to launch ketchup packets at each other.
  • you pay anything / everything in small change (especially pennies)
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