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Bumper sticker

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“Unless your a hemroid get off my ass” — Maybe, people should learn to spell and some grammar before making, buying, or affixing bumper stickers.

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  • You might be annoying your Facebook friends if... You standard response to any emergency is to post its occurrence as your status, then deal with the emergency. ...bonus points if you solicit advice for handling the emergency via Facebook. You take every "What kind of .... are you?" quiz possible, including the "What kind of chia pet......
  • If operating systems ran your car. Posted to: alt.folklore.computers From: David Zykin Date: Thurs, Nov 3 1994 3:02 am MS-DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys. Windows:  You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is......
  • You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
  • You might be a teacher if... you have an overwhelming urge to nod and say, "Now I understand why your kid is the way they are," after meeting the parents. you've ever said "Put that gum on your nose!" ...outside of the classroom. you can't have children because there is no name you can think......
  • You might be a bad driver if... you've ever offered someone inordinate sums of money for the damage because if the insurance company hears about one more accident... your friends would rather walk five miles barefoot on asfault in 110 degree heat than accept a ride from you. you go to leave the frat party stone......
  • You might be a cheapskate if... I'm wondering if this was submitted by a soon-to-be ex-wife: You might be a cheapskate if...... 1. You concentrate on lowest prices than quality of an item. 2. You've ever went Christmas shopping at Goodwill. 3. You bought your wife her anniversary present at a yard sale. 4. Your brand......
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You might be a math geek if…

TAGS: None

…you have memorized the first 10000 digits of pi…  BACKWARDS.

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  • You might have grown up in the 90s if... You might have grown up in the 90s if... -Airwalk was ever your preferred shoe brand. -You've ever wore a T-shirt under an unbuttoned button-down shirt. -You're STILL saving for a Dodge Viper. -You taped every episode of Ren And Stimpy. -You taped every episode of Beavis And Butthead. -You......
  • You might be a Canadian if... You might be a Canadian if... You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK". You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, i just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know that a mickey and......
  • You might be a cheapskate if... I'm wondering if this was submitted by a soon-to-be ex-wife: You might be a cheapskate if...... 1. You concentrate on lowest prices than quality of an item. 2. You've ever went Christmas shopping at Goodwill. 3. You bought your wife her anniversary present at a yard sale. 4. Your brand......
  • You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
  • The evolution of a python programmer #Newbie programmer def factorial(x): if x == 0: return 1 else: return x * factorial(x - 1) print factorial(6) #First year programmer, studied Pascal def factorial(x): result = 1 i = 2 while i <= x: result = result * i i = i + 1 return result print......
  • You might be a caffeine addict if... you think sleep is for the weak.  you've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend" (Naz) you believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable. you have a website......

Musician Light Bulb Jokes

TAGS: None

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, we have machines to do that now.
How many bassists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the keyboardist can do it with his left hand.
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
One — he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Changes? Huh?

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  • Random thoughts Yet another e-mail forward: I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only......
  • You might be a bad driver if... you've ever offered someone inordinate sums of money for the damage because if the insurance company hears about one more accident... your friends would rather walk five miles barefoot on asfault in 110 degree heat than accept a ride from you. you go to leave the frat party stone......
  • You might be a Canadian if... You might be a Canadian if... You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK". You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, i just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know that a mickey and......
  • Operating Systems for Your Brain If your brain required an operating system like your computer does, what would it be like? Windows for brains: You  think about one of any number of things at anyone time but only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank as you encounter a "general ......
  • You might be a runner if... the pain of not running is greater than the pain of running. you actually read a novel about running... and its sequel. Inspired by: http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?board=1&id=9545&thread=9545 ...your toenails are black. ...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does. ...you need a magnifying glass to see your name......
  • Diary of an AOL User One of my favorites from long ago. July 18 I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it's the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me another. I can't connect. I......
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