A list from 10+ years ago…

• you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge.
• there is writing on the white-out on your screen
• -you can’t figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means
• someone asks you how to cut and paste, you say “just use scissors and glue.”
• you try to squash your disk to compress files in it.
• you scream “Bloody hell! What have i done wrong THIS time, you ***** computer?” every time your computer spits out “error”.
• you own your computer only 5 minutes before you crash it. (Lisa)
• you try to find a game and can’t, and you hit the monitor and scream, “Why won’t you work?!?” (Lisa)
• when the screen saver comes on you’re almost positive that your computer really did crash this time.
• if there is white out on your computer screen. (Visitor submission)
• if you don’t use Windows because you religiously don’t believe in icons. (Dave Tibbs)
• you wonder who General Protection Fault is and what the hell the army wants from you.
• the only reason you hang out with that *geek* next door is because he will fix your computer for free (Amy R.).
• you think your mouse is a foot pedal (Jason)
• you own a Macintosh (Visitor Submission: Doc Holiday) (please don’t flame me on this one.)
• you think the computer from which virus came actually created the virus (it’s all a conspiracy).
• you think modem usage will show up on your phone bill.
• you think the “escape” key will beam you out of the building in case of fire.
• you don’t know where the “any” key is.
• you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell Windows 95 what to do.
• you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell DOS what to do.
• you use AOL disks as coasters.  (Also a sign that you’re a computer geek.)
• you’ve used the CD-ROM tray as a cup holder.
• you think Dilbert creates artificially high standards for managers.
• you think laser printers receive print commands by laser beam.
• you’ve ever tried to play a CD-ROM in a stereo.
• you’ve ever tried to talk to a modem on the other end of the line.
• you went shopping for Microsoft Bob for Dummies…
• …and you really needed it.
• you think Microsoft Windows is a rip-off, because it never does what you want it to. (Geeks have this problem too.)
• Someone gives you a 5-1/4″ Floppy and you fold it to fit in your 3-1/2″ Drive and wonder why the drive doesn’t work. (Michael M.)
• You immediately move to Mexico or Canada because you got an “Illegal Operation” error on your computer screen. (Jay)

• You might be anal-retentive if... you eat the M&Ms in color order. you fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper. From Miranda: you have to have all boxes in the kitchen facing the same way and in order by size. you have all your canned goods organized by type, flavor, and......
• Types of Meetings Meeting before the meeting - A select group of people, usually from the same team, decide what the "correct outcome" of the main meeting is supposed to be. When the main meeting comes, the co-conspirators stick to their guns about what must be done. Meeting after the meeting - Often, the......
• You might be a gamer if...   [/caption] You don't think of a Russian bazooka when someone says "RPG". You use game stats to describe things in a movie. (Well, Han just blew his Fast-Talk roll) You use game stats to describe things in real life. You laugh yourself silly when you hear the word......
• You might be making your coworkers uncomfortable if... (See also Grumpy Coworker) you ask your black coworkers why their people are always trying to keep the white man down. you openly discuss your menstrual cycle. If someone points out the fact that you're a man, bring them up on sexual harassment charges. you push your desk away from......
• You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
• "Shit Happens" from a Social Media Perspective Foursquare: I am mayor of this toilet. Tumblr: Whoa...  somebody didn't flush their shit.  Hey, everybody, check this out! StumbleUpon: Post your toilet and have random people shit in it. Digg: You:  This shit is awesome.  Others:  I'm going to bury your shit. LinkedIn: Excellent at making sure I flush......

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• http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm
• http://www.romlist.com/end/
• http://n.ethz.ch/student/stadleja/
• http://www.weirdity.com/internet/eoti.html
• http://home.att.net/~cecw/lastpage.htm
• http://bw.org/end/
• http://www.wwwdotcom.com/

• Puns from the Inbox 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whisky maker -......
• You might be a cat lover if... your cat has a Twitter account. ...and tweets more often than you. ...and you @mention your cat in your own tweets. you cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat. you dare not move a muscle when kitty falls asleep at your......
• You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
• You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
• Random thoughts Yet another e-mail forward: I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only......
• You might be Filipino if... you don't see a problem with spaghetti [with sauce], white rice, and fried chicken on the same plate. you take brownies to non-Filipino potluck dinners. you have a cartful of corned beef during a sale. you say kutex instead of nail polish. you are stumped when asked what kind......

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#Newbie programmer
def factorial(x):
if x == 0:
return 1
else:
return x * factorial(x - 1)
print factorial(6)

#First year programmer, studied Pascal
def factorial(x):
result = 1
i = 2
while i <= x:
result = result * i
i = i + 1
return result
print factorial(6)

#First year programmer, studied C
def fact(x): #{
result = i = 1;
while (i <= x): #{
result *= i;
i += 1;
#}
return result;
#}
print(fact(6))

#First year programmer, SICP
@tailcall
def fact(x, acc=1):
if (x > 1): return (fact((x – 1), (acc * x)))
else: return acc
print(fact(6))

#First year programmer, Python
def Factorial(x):
res = 1
for i in xrange(2, x + 1):
res *= i
return res
print Factorial(6)

#Lazy Python programmer
def fact(x):
return x > 1 and x * fact(x – 1) or 1
print fact(6)

#Lazier Python programmer
f = lambda x: x and x * f(x – 1) or 1
print f(6)

#Python expert programmer
fact = lambda x: reduce(int.__mul__, xrange(2, x + 1), 1)
print fact(6)

#Python hacker
import sys
@tailcall
def fact(x, acc=1):
if x: return fact(x.__sub__(1), acc.__mul__(x))
return acc
sys.stdout.write(str(fact(6)) + ‘\n’)

#EXPERT PROGRAMMER
from c_math import fact
print fact(6)

#BRITISH EXPERT PROGRAMMER
from c_maths import fact
print fact(6)

#Web designer
def factorial(x):
#————————————————-
#— Code snippet from The Math Vault —
#— Calculate factorial (C) Arthur Smith 1999 —
#————————————————-
result = str(1)
i = 1 #Thanks Adam
while i <= x:
#result = result * i #It’s faster to use *=
#result = str(result * result + i)
#result = int(result *= i) #??????
result = str(int(result) * i)
#result = int(str(result) * i)
i = i + 1
return result
print factorial(6)

#Unix programmer
import os
def fact(x):
os.system(‘factorial ‘ + str(x))
fact(6)

#Windows programmer
NULL = None
def CalculateAndPrintFactorialEx(dwNumber,
hOutputDevice,
lpLparam,
lpWparam,
lpsscSecurity,
*dwReserved):
if lpsscSecurity != NULL:
return NULL #Not implemented
dwResult = dwCounter = 1
while dwCounter <= dwNumber:
dwResult *= dwCounter
dwCounter += 1
hOutputDevice.write(str(dwResult))
hOutputDevice.write(‘\n’)
return 1
import sys
CalculateAndPrintFactorialEx(6, sys.stdout, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL)

#Enterprise programmer
def new(cls, *args, **kwargs):
return cls(*args, **kwargs)

class Number(object):
pass

class IntegralNumber(int, Number):
def toInt(self):
return new (int, self)

class InternalBase(object):
def __init__(self, base):
self.base = base.toInt()

def getBase(self):
return new (IntegralNumber, self.base)

class MathematicsSystem(object):
def __init__(self, ibase):
Abstract

@classmethod
def getInstance(cls, ibase):
try:
cls.__instance
except AttributeError:
cls.__instance = new (cls, ibase)
return cls.__instance

class StandardMathematicsSystem(MathematicsSystem):
def __init__(self, ibase):
if ibase.getBase() != new (IntegralNumber, 2):
raise NotImplementedError
self.base = ibase.getBase()

def calculateFactorial(self, target):
result = new (IntegralNumber, 1)
i = new (IntegralNumber, 2)
while i <= target:
result = result * i
i = i + new (IntegralNumber, 1)
return result

print StandardMathematicsSystem.getInstance(new (InternalBase, new (IntegralNumber, 2))).calculateFactorial(new (IntegralNumber, 6))

• Puns from the Inbox 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whisky maker -......
• You might be making your coworkers uncomfortable if... you reply to all on e-mail announcements about the death of a co-worker's family member with something like, "It's about time." you publicly insist that your employer recognize your chronic body odor as a disability. you enthusiastically pleasure yourself whenever someone hands you a memo. you give yourself a......
• Your band might be a sell-out if... Your band might be a sell-out if..... 1. Music you wrote and recorded is constantly heard on top 40 radio. 2. You see yourself on MTV more than once a week. 3. You have more female fans than male fans. 4. You went to a mall and saw at least......
• You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
• Murphy's Laws for EMS The First Law of EMS: All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, without regard to the time. Corollary 1: Fewer accidents would occur if EMS personnel would never eat. Corollary 2: Always order food "to go". The Law of Time: 1. There is absolutely no relationship between......
• Drunk needs a push GOTTA  LOVE DRUNK PEOPLE    A man, and his wife are awakened at 3  o'clock in the morning by  loud pounding on the  door.   The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken  stranger,   standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a  push.......

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