A list from 10+ years ago…

• you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge.
• there is writing on the white-out on your screen
• -you can’t figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means
• someone asks you how to cut and paste, you say “just use scissors and glue.”
• you try to squash your disk to compress files in it.
• you scream “Bloody hell! What have i done wrong THIS time, you ***** computer?” every time your computer spits out “error”.
• you own your computer only 5 minutes before you crash it. (Lisa)
• you try to find a game and can’t, and you hit the monitor and scream, “Why won’t you work?!?” (Lisa)
• when the screen saver comes on you’re almost positive that your computer really did crash this time.
• if there is white out on your computer screen. (Visitor submission)
• if you don’t use Windows because you religiously don’t believe in icons. (Dave Tibbs)
• you wonder who General Protection Fault is and what the hell the army wants from you.
• the only reason you hang out with that *geek* next door is because he will fix your computer for free (Amy R.).
• you think your mouse is a foot pedal (Jason)
• you own a Macintosh (Visitor Submission: Doc Holiday) (please don’t flame me on this one.)
• you think the computer from which virus came actually created the virus (it’s all a conspiracy).
• you think modem usage will show up on your phone bill.
• you think the “escape” key will beam you out of the building in case of fire.
• you don’t know where the “any” key is.
• you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell Windows 95 what to do.
• you try to use the microphone on your PC to tell DOS what to do.
• you use AOL disks as coasters.  (Also a sign that you’re a computer geek.)
• you’ve used the CD-ROM tray as a cup holder.
• you think Dilbert creates artificially high standards for managers.
• you think laser printers receive print commands by laser beam.
• you’ve ever tried to play a CD-ROM in a stereo.
• you’ve ever tried to talk to a modem on the other end of the line.
• you went shopping for Microsoft Bob for Dummies…
• …and you really needed it.
• you think Microsoft Windows is a rip-off, because it never does what you want it to. (Geeks have this problem too.)
• Someone gives you a 5-1/4″ Floppy and you fold it to fit in your 3-1/2″ Drive and wonder why the drive doesn’t work. (Michael M.)
• You immediately move to Mexico or Canada because you got an “Illegal Operation” error on your computer screen. (Jay)

• 66+ signs you've been in the [marching] band too long Started by: Lori Dyer When you hear music and you start marking time. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song. When all your friends are in the band. When you don't mind changing clothes on......
• You might be making your coworkers uncomfortable if... you reply to all on e-mail announcements about the death of a co-worker's family member with something like, "It's about time." you publicly insist that your employer recognize your chronic body odor as a disability. you enthusiastically pleasure yourself whenever someone hands you a memo. you give yourself a......
• You might be an Animaniacs fan if... you've tried to outdo Yakko's singing of the dictionary by singing the Encylopedia. (Lynxan) you've suspected that your successful friend might be a chicken. (Lynxan) you yell "potty emergency" every time you need to go. ( Deena ) you can sing the words to Wakko's "America"... ...or Yahoo's "World".........
• Types of Meetings Meeting before the meeting - A select group of people, usually from the same team, decide what the "correct outcome" of the main meeting is supposed to be. When the main meeting comes, the co-conspirators stick to their guns about what must be done. Meeting after the meeting - Often, the......
• You might be a New Yorker if... you know what "call you for it" or "choose you for it" means. you get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you. you can't stand leaving the city because people everywhere else are so nice, it's annoying. you curse....a lot. you believe that if you're......
• "Shit Happens" from a Social Media Perspective Foursquare: I am mayor of this toilet. Tumblr: Whoa...  somebody didn't flush their shit.  Hey, everybody, check this out! StumbleUpon: Post your toilet and have random people shit in it. Digg: You:  This shit is awesome.  Others:  I'm going to bury your shit. LinkedIn: Excellent at making sure I flush......

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• http://www.shibumi.org/eoti.htm
• http://www.romlist.com/end/
• http://n.ethz.ch/student/stadleja/
• http://www.weirdity.com/internet/eoti.html
• http://home.att.net/~cecw/lastpage.htm
• http://bw.org/end/
• http://www.wwwdotcom.com/

• You might be taking the beanie babies thing too far if... An oldie from the first days of YouMightBe.com... you spend so much money on beanies that you can't afford beans. you tease your grandmother about being addicted to her online bingo games as you transfer money into your new Beanie Baby checking account (because it just "makes it easier"). you kick out your grandmother so......
• Puns from the Inbox 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whisky maker -......
• You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
• Diary of an AOL User One of my favorites from long ago. July 18 I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it's the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me another. I can't connect. I......
• You might be a cat lover if... your cat has a Twitter account. ...and tweets more often than you. ...and you @mention your cat in your own tweets. you cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat. you dare not move a muscle when kitty falls asleep at your......
• You might be a Trekkie if... you've been to KLI.org . ...you created the KLI.org site . ...you've submitted corrections to KLI.org . you actually know that the prime directive isn't "to boldly go where no man has gone before" and what it actually is. you know who Barkeley is and what happened to him. you're......

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#Newbie programmer
def factorial(x):
if x == 0:
return 1
else:
return x * factorial(x - 1)
print factorial(6)

#First year programmer, studied Pascal
def factorial(x):
result = 1
i = 2
while i <= x:
result = result * i
i = i + 1
return result
print factorial(6)

#First year programmer, studied C
def fact(x): #{
result = i = 1;
while (i <= x): #{
result *= i;
i += 1;
#}
return result;
#}
print(fact(6))

#First year programmer, SICP
@tailcall
def fact(x, acc=1):
if (x > 1): return (fact((x – 1), (acc * x)))
else: return acc
print(fact(6))

#First year programmer, Python
def Factorial(x):
res = 1
for i in xrange(2, x + 1):
res *= i
return res
print Factorial(6)

#Lazy Python programmer
def fact(x):
return x > 1 and x * fact(x – 1) or 1
print fact(6)

#Lazier Python programmer
f = lambda x: x and x * f(x – 1) or 1
print f(6)

#Python expert programmer
fact = lambda x: reduce(int.__mul__, xrange(2, x + 1), 1)
print fact(6)

#Python hacker
import sys
@tailcall
def fact(x, acc=1):
if x: return fact(x.__sub__(1), acc.__mul__(x))
return acc
sys.stdout.write(str(fact(6)) + ‘\n’)

#EXPERT PROGRAMMER
from c_math import fact
print fact(6)

#BRITISH EXPERT PROGRAMMER
from c_maths import fact
print fact(6)

#Web designer
def factorial(x):
#————————————————-
#— Code snippet from The Math Vault —
#— Calculate factorial (C) Arthur Smith 1999 —
#————————————————-
result = str(1)
i = 1 #Thanks Adam
while i <= x:
#result = result * i #It’s faster to use *=
#result = str(result * result + i)
#result = int(result *= i) #??????
result = str(int(result) * i)
#result = int(str(result) * i)
i = i + 1
return result
print factorial(6)

#Unix programmer
import os
def fact(x):
os.system(‘factorial ‘ + str(x))
fact(6)

#Windows programmer
NULL = None
def CalculateAndPrintFactorialEx(dwNumber,
hOutputDevice,
lpLparam,
lpWparam,
lpsscSecurity,
*dwReserved):
if lpsscSecurity != NULL:
return NULL #Not implemented
dwResult = dwCounter = 1
while dwCounter <= dwNumber:
dwResult *= dwCounter
dwCounter += 1
hOutputDevice.write(str(dwResult))
hOutputDevice.write(‘\n’)
return 1
import sys
CalculateAndPrintFactorialEx(6, sys.stdout, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL, NULL)

#Enterprise programmer
def new(cls, *args, **kwargs):
return cls(*args, **kwargs)

class Number(object):
pass

class IntegralNumber(int, Number):
def toInt(self):
return new (int, self)

class InternalBase(object):
def __init__(self, base):
self.base = base.toInt()

def getBase(self):
return new (IntegralNumber, self.base)

class MathematicsSystem(object):
def __init__(self, ibase):
Abstract

@classmethod
def getInstance(cls, ibase):
try:
cls.__instance
except AttributeError:
cls.__instance = new (cls, ibase)
return cls.__instance

class StandardMathematicsSystem(MathematicsSystem):
def __init__(self, ibase):
if ibase.getBase() != new (IntegralNumber, 2):
raise NotImplementedError
self.base = ibase.getBase()

def calculateFactorial(self, target):
result = new (IntegralNumber, 1)
i = new (IntegralNumber, 2)
while i <= target:
result = result * i
i = i + new (IntegralNumber, 1)
return result

print StandardMathematicsSystem.getInstance(new (InternalBase, new (IntegralNumber, 2))).calculateFactorial(new (IntegralNumber, 6))

• Your band might be a sell-out if... Your band might be a sell-out if..... 1. Music you wrote and recorded is constantly heard on top 40 radio. 2. You see yourself on MTV more than once a week. 3. You have more female fans than male fans. 4. You went to a mall and saw at least......
• You might be a bad customer if... you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain "That's how they make them at MY country club." Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don't tip. you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum......
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• Operating Systems for Your Brain If your brain required an operating system like your computer does, what would it be like? Windows for brains: You  think about one of any number of things at anyone time but only for a short amount of time because then your mind goes blank as you encounter a "general ......
• You might be making your coworkers uncomfortable if... (See also Grumpy Coworker) you ask your black coworkers why their people are always trying to keep the white man down. you openly discuss your menstrual cycle. If someone points out the fact that you're a man, bring them up on sexual harassment charges. you push your desk away from......
• Puns from the Inbox 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much Pi. 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 3. She was only a whisky maker -......

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