YouMightBe.com's humor lists

A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings.

You might be a Trekkie if…

Tags: ,

  • you’ve been to KLI.org .
  • …you created the KLI.org site .
  • …you’ve submitted corrections to KLI.org .
  • you actually know that the prime directive isn’t “to boldly go where no man has gone before” and what it actually is.
  • you know who Barkeley is and what happened to him.
  • you’re certain that the shooting star you just saw was an exploding borg cube.
  • you and any of your friends have a discussion over which is more correct “Trekkies or Trekkers.”
  • you actually saw the movie “Trekkies” in the theater.
  • …or boycotted the movie theater showing it.
  • you’ve built a life size replica of Captain Pike’s wheel chair.
  • you’ve ever pulled the legs of your hamster because you always wanted a tribble.
  • Nurse Chapel / Deanna Troi / Beverly Crusher / Dax is your Dream Woman.
  • …if you asked “which one?” to the last one.
  • …if you came name more than 10 females that I missed.
  • you know who Ashley Judd is, because of her appearance on The Next Generation.
  • you can name the bridge crew for the original series.
  • you can name the members of each bridge crew and their rank for the Next Generation series.
  • you can name the bridge crew, their rank, and their species for Voyager.
  • you know the different classes of starships.
  • you also know the top warp speed, inertial damper tolerances, and standard weaponry of each class.
  • you own a Star Fleet manual…
  • you read The Physics of Star Trek and came up with counter arguments to the mentions of General Relativity as it applies to Star Trek.
  • you’ve had more Gene Roddenberry sightings than the Enquirer has had Elvis sightings.
  • you’ve ever worn a pair of Vulcan Ears..
  • Related Posts
    • You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
    • You might be a high school freshman if... You might be a freshman in highschool if... 1. You sign up for every club available. 2. You make a point of dressing like and acting like the social group you wish to infiltrate... 3. ...and habitually walk by their "spot" an average of 12.5694 times each lunch... 4. ...buying......
    • (More) You might be a band geek if... ...one time, you went to band camp and came back with a girlfriend. ...you actually like wearing your marching uniform. ...you have your band director on speed dial. ...you have your band director as an emergency contact. (...but what if you're at band camp??) ...you have your high band teacher's......
    • You might be an accountant if... your idea of trashing your hotel room is refusing to fill out the guest comment card. you refer to your child as Deduction 214 3. you deduct Exlax as "Moving expenses" at the movie Indecent Proposal you did a NPV calculation. you decide to change your name to a......
    • More You Might be from New Jersey if... You might be from New Jersey if... -you know what "Quick Check" is -you hang out at said "Quick Check" in the parking lot with your friends doing absoutely nothing and talking about what you are going to do to your car next so you can drag race it better.......
    • IT Light Bulb Jokes Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four hundred and seventy-two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle... Q: How many technical support personnel does it take to change a light bulb? A: We have an exact copy......
    Blog Traffic Exchange

    Snow Portmanteau

    Tags: , , ,

    The following are ways of expressing the snow hysteria (especially on Twitter):

    • snOMG
    • snowmageddon
    • snoWTF
    • ohsnowudidnt
    • snoverkill
    • snowicane
    • snopacalypse

    Added:

    • Some other snow portmanteau may be found on A Daily Portmanteau: Snowmenclature, including:  snovice, snowhere, snowonder, snowbegone, snowmad, state of snomergency, snoway, snovacaine, snoxious, snowbotomy, snooky, snowcreation, snaction…
    • From TSNONami – tSNOnami, SNOzilla, SNOlycrap, SNOtards, SNOverated, SNOverreaction, SNOverestimated, SNOthingsgonnahappen, SNOba_fett, SNObalWarming, SNOblivion, SNOproblem, SNOwayinhell, SNOtoriousBIG, SNOf__kyourself, SNOflakes, SNOcoholics, SNOtography, SNOtos.
    Related Posts
    • 66+ signs you've been in the [marching] band too long Started by: Lori Dyer When you hear music and you start marking time. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song. When all your friends are in the band. When you don't mind changing clothes on......
    • You might be a bad customer if... you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain "That's how they make them at MY country club." Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don't tip. you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum......
    • You might be computer illiterate if... A list from 10+ years ago... you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge. there is writing on the white-out on your screen -you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-) someone asks you how to......
    • You might be from Louisville (KY) if... your "International" airport has only one passenger flight that actually leaves the 48 contiguous U.S. states. (Louisville "would-like-to-be" International Airport) the in-state sports rivalry is paid more attention to than the national championship. you live in an area that occasionally gets considerable snowfalls, floods, and tornadoes, but has no......
    • You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
    • You might be a biker if... going 4-wheeling means your old lady has her own bike. your gloves don't have any fingers. you prefer to pee outside. your beer preference is BEER. you treat your leather better than your woman. you wash your bike more than you wash yourself. rock-and-roll is the only kind of......
    Blog Traffic Exchange

    You might be annoying your Facebook friends if…

    Tags: ,

    1. You standard response to any emergency is to post its occurrence as your status, then deal with the emergency.
    2. …bonus points if you solicit advice for handling the emergency via Facebook.
    3. You take every “What kind of …. are you?” quiz possible, including the “What kind of chia pet are you??” quiz.  (I’m hope that I’m making that one up.)
    4. You update statuses like a misguided Twitter addict.
    5. You spam all of your friends with app requests so that you can unlock the next level of super pokes.
    6. You keep answering 21 questions about your friends in a paranoid attempt to find out who thinks you would fart in public.
    7. You spend more time playing Farmville than most people spend awake.
    8. You insist on posting inappropriate things that your mom, who is your Facebook friend, feels compelled to respond to.
    9. You’ve friended your disgruntled exes and regularly start awkward passive-aggressive rants about them.
    10. You participate in every “post this as your status if” trend as if there was some “breaking the chain letter” curse for not doing so.
    11. “25 things about me” was way too little information about yourself, so you fill out more lists that require you to tag your friends in your troubling revelations, making them collateral damage.
    12. You rant about how stupid people are in your status, misspelling every other word.
    13. You seem to think that every one of your “friends” would be interested in joining your fringe political movement, and attempt to persuade by derision of those too meek to stand up and join you.
    14. You regularly feel compelled to post things that reveal too much information about things no one wants to know about.  (Hint:  If it came out of your body unexpectedly or happened when you were at least half-naked, the rest of us probably don’t want to know.)
    Related Posts
    • Coffee personalities of the cubicle dweller [/caption] "Who moved my coffee" - Scurries in and out of the break room every five minutes to see if coffee has been made yet.  Moves quickly to avoid being identified as someone who has seen the empty coffee pots and yet not made a pot of coffee.  Related to......
    • You might be a coffee snob if... -you heat the coffee mug before pouring your coffee -you brew your own coffee at work -...from fresh ground whole beans -...stored in a climate and humidity-controlled environment -...in your own coffee maker -you refuse to patronize Starbucks since they simplified their daytime brew offering. -...and you know the name......
    • You might be a teacher if... you have an overwhelming urge to nod and say, "Now I understand why your kid is the way they are," after meeting the parents. you've ever said "Put that gum on your nose!" ...outside of the classroom. you can't have children because there is no name you can think......
    • You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
    • Types of Meetings Meeting before the meeting - A select group of people, usually from the same team, decide what the "correct outcome" of the main meeting is supposed to be. When the main meeting comes, the co-conspirators stick to their guns about what must be done. Meeting after the meeting - Often, the......
    • You might be a cheesehead if... Much like the redneck lists, the good lists make you wonder if the person is putting himself down for being one. You might be a Cheesehead if... 1. If your idea of a 7-course meal is a Brat and a 6-pack... you might be a Cheesehead! 2. If the Packer......
    Blog Traffic Exchange

    You might be from Los Angeles if…

    Tags: ,

    This list is from the mid-90s as obvious from the third item…

    • you know it’s best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm.
    • getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes”.
    • EVERYONE you know owns a pager and/or cell phone.
    • you know what neighborhood someone lives in by the degree of damage incurred during the riots.
    • you’ve inadvertently learned Spanish.
    • you’ve got to bring the cat/plants in when it drops to 55 degrees.
    • in the “winter”, you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
    • you’ve bumped into a celebrity at El Pollo Loco.
    • you know what “sigalert”, “PCH”, and “the five” mean.
    • after an earthquake, everyone has a pretty good idea what it measured on the Richter scale.
    • your pizza delivery guy is also on contract with Warner Bros.
    • your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you’re definitely driving.
    • you have a gym membership because it’s mandatory.
    • your TV show is interrupted by a police chase.
    • you can’t fall asleep without the lull of a helicopter flying overhead.
    • you were housebound during the “melathion” sprayings.
    • you know people who have a ridiculous number of piercings/tattoos/guns.
    • when tourists ask where they can get souvenirs, you direct them to Venice Beach.
    • you know someone named Freedom, Rainbow, Persephone or Destiny.
    • you’ve trespassed through private property to get to the “Hollywood” sign.
    • you’ve partied in Tijuana at least once.
    • you know Hollywood has a “lake”.
    • you don’t stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
    • you’ve lost your car in the Century City Shopping Center parking lot.
    • you’ve ever bought oranges, flowers, cherries or peanuts on a freeway off-ramp.
    Related Posts
    • You might be an Animaniacs fan if... you've tried to outdo Yakko's singing of the dictionary by singing the Encylopedia. (Lynxan) you've suspected that your successful friend might be a chicken. (Lynxan) you yell "potty emergency" every time you need to go. ( Deena ) you can sing the words to Wakko's "America"... ...or Yahoo's "World".........
    • You might be a bad driver if... you've ever offered someone inordinate sums of money for the damage because if the insurance company hears about one more accident... your friends would rather walk five miles barefoot on asfault in 110 degree heat than accept a ride from you. you go to leave the frat party stone......
    • You might be computer illiterate if... A list from 10+ years ago... you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge. there is writing on the white-out on your screen -you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-) someone asks you how to......
    • You might be a Trekkie if... you've been to KLI.org . ...you created the KLI.org site . ...you've submitted corrections to KLI.org . you actually know that the prime directive isn't "to boldly go where no man has gone before" and what it actually is. you know who Barkeley is and what happened to him. you're......
    • You might be making your coworkers uncomfortable if... (See also Grumpy Coworker) you ask your black coworkers why their people are always trying to keep the white man down. you openly discuss your menstrual cycle. If someone points out the fact that you're a man, bring them up on sexual harassment charges. you push your desk away from......
    • You might be a New Yorker if... you know what "call you for it" or "choose you for it" means. you get scared when a stranger randomly starts up a conversation with you. you can't stand leaving the city because people everywhere else are so nice, it's annoying. you curse....a lot. you believe that if you're......
    Blog Traffic Exchange

    © 2009 YouMightBe.com's humor lists. All Rights Reserved.

    This blog is powered by Wordpress and Magatheme by Bryan Helmig.