• you don’t see a problem with spaghetti [with sauce], white rice, and fried chicken on the same plate.
• you take brownies to non-Filipino potluck dinners.
• you have a cartful of corned beef during a sale.
• you say kutex instead of nail polish.
• you are stumped when asked what kind of bread in a deli.
• you’re the plane passenger with the largest hand-carry luggage.
• you scratch your head when you don’t know what you’re doing.
• you don’t want to eat the last piece of food on the plate, but offer it to others.
• you say “she” when you should say “he”
• you say “ano” this and “ano” that
• you put your hands together and point them in the direction you are walking to pass between other people
• you say that everybody is your cousin/niece/nephew/aunt/uncle/…
• you have a big Buddha at home for good luck( not the serene Buddha like what the Thais have, but the big, fat, laughing one with those pesky little kids crawling all over him).
• you bring a “baon” to work everyday.
• your ice cold beer really has ice cubes in it.
• you eat balut and wash it down with beer to bulk up.
• you have a parol hanging outside your house during the Christmas holidays.
• you say things sorta backwards like towelpaper instead of papertowel and stick bread instead of breadsticks.
• you say guper instead of gopher.
• you eat rice for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
• you say “aray” instead of “ouch “.
• you look up and say “ha!” when somebody says “what’s up”.
• you write “Filipino” but pronounce it as “Pilipino”.
• you can sustain jokes like this one indefinitely.
• you often say ‘Bulaga!’ when you want to scare someone.
• you fire your gun like crazy on new year’s eve
• you drive a jeep with your family name written on the back.
• you preceed anything pluralized with “mga.”
• you put a little bowl of patis on the table for dipping, and your guests complain “who farted.”
• you cover your living room furniture with bed sheets.
• you have toyo circles on your table cloths.
• you wash and reuse disposable styrofoam cups, forks and spoons and of course, aluminum wrapper (Reynolds wrap) or cover paper plates with waxed paper so you can reuse it.
• you cover your carpet floors with plastic liners.

Also:

• your house smells like mothballs [I think we switched to cedar, but still, the mothball smell remains.]

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Started by: Lori Dyer

1. When you hear music and you start marking time.
2. When you walk behind someone and you’re in step with them.
3. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
4. When all your friends are in the band.
5. When you don’t mind changing clothes on the bus.
6. When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
7. When every guy/girl you’re interested in is in the band.
8. When you like wearing your uniform.
9. When people ask you about your social life and you say, “Oh, you mean my flute/trumpet/drum/etc.?”
10. When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
11. When someone hits a wrong note and you chew them out for an hour.
12. When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
13. When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
14. When people worry when they see you without you instrument.
15. When “armed guard,” means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
16. When band camp is FUN.
17. When you answer to “Band Nerd.”
18. When someone says the words “atten hut” and you automatically put your head up.
19. When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
20. When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.
21. When your mouth is frozen to your mouth piece, and it feels normal.
22. When left slides or right back slides feel normal.
23. When your instrument has a name.
24. When you remember your instrument’s birthday and forget your mom’s.
25. When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
26. When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
27. When you give your instrument a birthday party.
28. When you can make white shoes look black.
29. When your uniform fits.
30. When black feathers become a fashion “do”.
31. When you see your section more than you see your family.
32. When everyone wants to kill the other football team…and you want to kill the other band.
33. When you have dreams about early morning marching band.
34. When you think morning practices should start a half-hour earlier.
35. When you accidentally call your band director “Dad”.
36. When you CAN sight-read.
37. When you can put on you uniform in less than 10 minutes.
38. When reeds taste good.
39. When you have a band song stuck in your head, and you tap your foot to the beat.
40. When you think your plume is alive.
41. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
42. When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.
43. When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
44. When numbers past 8 aren’t important.
45. When you’re more opinionated about the Madison vs. American Fork Bands than the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
46. When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don’t spill your lunch.
47. When you’d rather practice than read this list.
48. When letters past G aren’t important.
49. When the only class you look forward to is band.
50. When you actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long.
51. When you wonder what life would be like if you weren’t in band.
52. When you roll step while you walk to class.
53. When you major in music.
54. When you use your high school band director as a role model.
55. When those stupid “band humor” jokes are the funniest things you’ve ever heard.
56. When you pick the instruments from the music in cartoons.
57. When you start screaming “LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!” to the people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
58. When you’ve dated everyone in the band and now wonder if you’re ever going to have another date.
59. When you think the trumpeters have a right to be egotistical.
60. When you don’t think the flutist have a slight attitude problem.
61. When you change your instrument to the tuba.
62. When you have perfect pitch.
63. When the band director is always right.
64. When you marry that special someone in your section.
65. When you have kids and force them to be in music.
66. When you get the jokes on this list.
67. when you aren’t sure which is more dangerous a girl with a flag or a guy with a gun!

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