- Author: John
- Published: Apr 20th, 2010
- Category: You Might Be Humor List
- Comments: None
Tags: dog
- your bedroom door has a doggie door. ( Lisa C. )
- your dog owns more clothing and toys than your neighbor’s children.
- you have more pictures of your dog than of any other family member including yourself.
- you allow your dog to join you in the bath but not your significant other.
- you don’t mind sharing your pillow with your dog.
- you share your popsicles with the dog.
- you decide you might have kids so the dog will have playmates.
- …then you think better of it and just get more dogs.
- your entire Christmas wish list is full of stuff for the dog or stuff for you and the dog.
- you won’t visit your family if the dog can’t go too.
- you spend all your free time (after playing with the dog, etc…) online at dog related sites.
- …and you’re on many dog related e-mail lists.
- you care more about getting your dog’s supper ready on time than your spouse’s.
- you use the term potty in place of other urination terms. (Toast)
- you don’t yell at your significant other after staying out all night because it might upset your dog.
- you make your significant other sleep on the couch because there isn’t enough room for the three of you.
- holiday groceries are bought depending on the number of CANINE guest are expected, in addition to the rest of the family.
- you refer to your dogs as your 4-legged children. (Rose)
- you and your spouse constantly argue about which one of you the dog looks more like. (Big Al Your Radio Pal)
- your dog is in your family photo. (Big Al Your Radio Pal)
- …for the church directory.
- you go buy a king sized bed so there is enough room for pooch to sleep comfortably too. (Visitor Submission)
- you tell your chat partner to hold on while you play tug-of-war with your dog.
- you tell your relatives you aren’t coming unless the dogs are invited, too.
- you get your dog a pet cat.
- when shopping for a new car, your first requirement is that your dog can easily get into & out of the vehicle & she has her own window. (Donna)
- when house hunting, you only look at houses with BIG fenced in yards so your 100 lb “baby” has somewhere to play. (Donna)
- when you don’t think it’s the least bit strange to stand outside at 4:04AM chirping “Pee Maggie…Pee for mommy”, while Maggie tends to play and forget why she’s out there. You can give 2 !@#$s what the neighbors think.
- your spouse has to make the dogs move over so they can get into bed. (Ed Ward)
- whenever your dog barks, you say, “uh-oh — Gotta run — My dog wants her supper and belly rub now.” (Keith S.)
- you share ice cream cones with your dog. (Vicki Marty)
- your dog eats cat *poop*, but you still let her kiss you. (Rebecca)
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Blog Traffic Exchange
- Author: John
- Published: Apr 20th, 2010
- Category: You Might Be Humor List
- Comments: 1
Tags: cat
- your cat has a Twitter account.
- …and tweets more often than you.
- …and you @mention your cat in your own tweets.
- you cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat.
- you dare not move a muscle when kitty falls asleep at your feet, even if you need to get up and pee.
- you sleep in the oddest positions, just so you can accommodate your cat, even if he/she chooses to plonk itself in the middle of your bed.
- sleeping with your cat and getting stray particles of kitty litter from your cat’s claws in your bed doesn’t bother you.
- you take your cat’s name as your online name.
- you have your cigarettes outside regardless of snow or rain because your cats disdainfully wrinkle their adorable little noses when they smell smoke.
- when you’re telling a friend about having to take the cat to the V-E-T, you whisper and your eyes dart furtively around the room to make sure your kitty isn’t within earshot.
- you cried more than the cat did the day you dropped him at the vet’s to be neutered.
- you feel naked if your clothes aren’t covered in cat hair. (the Mad Cybrarian)
- if you own more than one cat and can tell which cat threw up just by looking at the pile. (kecia)
- From Fluffy
- people say “what a lovely Angora sweater!” and you say “What Sweater?”
- the grocery consists of cat food, cat treats, cat toys, and mice.
- you know all the ingredients in meow mix by heart.
- you plan your schedule around your cat.
- you don’t care which part of her body Kitty may have licked before kissing you on the lips! (Bonita)
- you nuzzle your sweetheart by rubbing your forehead on her.
- you still kiss your boyfriend after he lets kitty drink the milk while he eats the cereal.
- you feed them Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner on the good china.
- your dog coughs up cat hairballs.
- you take your cat everywhere with you and leave the car on so fluffy can get some a/c and so she can listen to the radio.
- you take your cat everywhere because you, I mean she have separation anxiety.
- you yell at Snookums for talking too much. ( katy )
- you apologize for yellin’ at your darlin’ and tell her you didn’t mean it and tell her she can scream if she wants.
- when you are done crying you go get a towel to dry the tears off of her fur to make her happy.
- when someone else yells at your cat for being bad, you say, “Be nice… she’s only human.”
- your way of punishing you cat for bad behavior is a “Time Out” in the bathroom after explaining that she has been a very bad kitty for tearing up your stuff. ( Lisa )
- when your cat scratches the heck out of you and your family, you say, “It’s just a phase she’s going through.” (Lisa)
- when your cat rips off the wallpaper, you take her to a cat pscyhotherapist to discover what is upsetting her and causing her disruptive behavior. (Lisa)
- you have full conversations with your cats and you think it’s normal.
- you think that they understand you and communicate back.
- you have more cat toys than clothes.
- when you wear black people think that you’re shedding.
- you get a fish tank and fish as pets for your cat. (Kristy)
- you take more pictures of your cat then you do of your children. (Susie)
- you call home during your honeymoon and ask if the children have fed the cat and where is he sleeping and don’t ask if the children are okay. (Susie)
- your cat eats the most expensive cat food available, but you subsist on macaroni and cheese and ramen noodles (Carrie, ccoleman@sageus.com)
- you refer to your parents as “Grandma” and “Grandpa”, but you have no children. (Carrie)
- you force everyone who phones your house to listen to Snookums meow into the receiver. ( Zoe, zobrien@rocketmail.com )
- your cat has more names than you do. ( Zoe )
- you spend a date telling your date all about your cats and not one thing about yourself. ( Zoe )
- each one of your cats gets spoken to in their own individual “special voice”. ( Zoe )
- you call your own answering machine just so that the cats can hear your voice. (Visitor Submission)
- you post pictures of your cat on your web page and your spouse has no picture posted! (Michael A. Stuart)
- you cough up hairballs daily too. (Kelly)
- your cat has more say than your spouse. (Callie O’ Brien)
- you write poems about your cat. (Callie O’ Brien)
- your cat sleeps in your bed more often than your spouse.
- you don’t need an alarm clock, because your cat wakes you up before the alarm clock goes off.
- you can eat after your cat. (For all non-cat lovers, it does happen.)
- you’ve stopped wondering where all the cat hairs that appear on your clothes could possibly come from. (Visitor submission)
- you’ve stopped caring about the amount of fur on your clothing on the rare occasions when you actually go out in public. (Visitor submission)
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