This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I’m starting this one from scratch.

• you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc…
• you’re a card-carrying member of the EFF
• when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm Graffiti characters. (Scott K. McGrath)
• you think (x<<6)+(x<<4) is a perfectly natural way to multiply by 80. ( ck )
• you’ve gutted and rebuilt your computer 5 times since you last changed the oil in your car. ( ck )
• you know what a router is, and you know what a bit is, but you’ve never heard of a router bit. ( ck )
• you know the square root of 65536 is 256 without having to do the math. ( ck )
• you consider 65536 and 256 “nice round numbers”. ( ck )
• …and you *always* put the period outside the quotes, since you’re not quoting the end of the sentence…what the hell do english majors know, anyway. ( ck )
• you see a good-looking girl and you DESPERATELY want her e-mail address so you can get to know her.
• you wake up and realize that your sleep pattern has been following an algorithm.
• your computer chair has the permanent and stiff indentation of your butt in it. (Samuel L Jacobson)
• the only tan you’ve ever acquired comes from your monitor. (Samuel L Jacobson)
• you have assembled your own Linux distribution, and re-wrote some of the more inefficient code, just for fun. ( Hmmm… it’s a thought… )
• every time someone says “I like iMacs” you get mad and shout out “So you only go for the looks, do you? Superficial guy! The inner qualities are what’s important, not the looks! Beauty is only skin-deep!”
• when asked if you have more than one hard drive, you answer “In which computer?” (melvan)
• you postpone your moving date so your computers can set new uptime records. (melvan)
• given the choice between a T3 and a date with a good looking guy/girl, you’d take the T3. (melvan)
• you’ve ever been successful at catching a spammer.
• you call sex with your cute girlfriend “CuteFTP.”
• you spend more time changing settings in Windows 98 than using it.
• you dream of high-end computers instead of beautiful girls.
• you get angry when someone says they own a Pentium IV processor. ( Andy )
• your friends have a club with the word .com in it. ( Andy )
• you almost get in a fight when a small child says there is no internet. ( Andy )
• you think everyone should have an opinion about Bill Gates.
• you refer to having sex as setting up a LAN!
• you refer to going to the toilet as “extracting to the temp folder” and flushing the toilet as “deleting the temp folder”.
• you refer to eating and drinking as uploading!
• you understand and find www.ircnews.com funny.
• you’ve ever passed notes at school in binary.
• you regard the “User Friendly” virus as a good thing.
• you’ve had an article appear at segfault.org.
• you’ve figured out how to crash Windows NT on a 128MB system, using only Internet Explorer and Notepad.
• you snicker whenever someone asks how much memory is needed for Windows NT to run smoothly.
• you go into a computer store and takeover a discussion for a salesman on the specs and merits of a computer while he site there nodding as you make the sale.
• you’ve ever written a useless program just for the “fun” of it.
• …or you prefer writing useless programs.
• a 23 GB HD, color laser, four 128MB DIMMs, and a 21″ monitor would beat out Sarah Michelle Gellar, Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham, and Cindy Crawford.
• you can actually read the error message details when a Windows program has a problem.
• you spend more time chatting on-line in one day than you do in a week’s worth of actual conversation with people face-to-face.
• there are two magazines in front of you, the newest issue of PC Magazine and the other a porno. And you choose the PC mag over the porno.
• you refer to using the bathroom as downloading.
• the number of computers in your house exceeds the number of relationships you’ve had in your lifetime.
• if you HAS A job or you IS A human being. (this one might be above the heads of a few computer geeks, too.)
• …and you didn’t correct the grammar of that last item.
• if (DEC 25 = OCT 31) means true to you.
• your computer costs more and runs better than your car 
• your watch is set to GMT. Always. (After all, it’s the only time that makes logical sense.)
• in real life, you tell people to go to http://www.hell.com/ (Mel)
• when you’re reading a magazine and you see an underlined passage, you feel compelled to click on it. (Dave Tibbs)
• you have the Linux Penguin sitting on your monitor
• … and you know the penguin’s name.
• everytime you go to write a note, you put your hands on your desk, as if looking for a keyboard to type it on. (Miko)
• you’ve ever debated the merits of the FVWM95 window manager…
• …with yourself.
• you’re grossly offended that anyone would want to make their Linux box work anything like Windows 95.
• you wake up wondering which directory you’re in. (Jason J.).
• you set up your old computer next to your new one 2 months ago so that you could transfer files and you’ve been using them “both” since. (Visitor submission, Keith S.)
• you have more computers now than you’ve had relationships in your lifetime.
• your wallpaper is made up of Linux code. (visitor submission)
• your favorite pasttime is IRC on Saturday nights.  (visitor submission)
• your computer is set for Dvorak… but your keyboard is actually a qwerty.
• …you know what Dvorak and Qwerty refer to.
• you have a PC for every person in the house, and still think you need one more. What if one goes down!? (Laura Goodwin)
• you salivate when you hear the word, “upgrade” (Laura Goodwin)
• instead of laughing you say “El-Oh-El!” (Laura Goodwin)
• you have actually heard someone do this in real life.
• …and you actually understood what it meant.
• you dream in code. (Laura Goodwin)
• you not only know what Be OS is, you have an opinion about it. (Laura Goodwin)
• you want to be the first one on your block to be wet-wired. (Laura Goodwin)
• you dual boot because you want to be able to play some of them there cool new games. (Laura Goodwin)
• you bought a super socket-7 motherboard, not because you really needed it, but because you got it for only 40.00 via an online auction. Now you have a reason to build that extra computer you don’t really need. (Laura Goodwin)
• to you, the word “scuzzy” is sexy. (Laura Goodwin)
• your girlfriend kisses you on the neck and you think “uh oh, priority interupt!”. (Dave Tibbs)
• you and the campus Unix Sysadmin have a geek contest.
• …and you win.
• you check your e-mail before you brush your teeth in the morning.  (Abdel).
• you believe Unix/Linux is the most superior operating system out there (Abdel).
• you e-mail yourself notes rather than writing them…
• …and you can justify the advantages of doing so.
• …or you actually reply to the note.
• you can program in more languages than you can speak. (From: Dan Good)
• you refer to your computer as a friend.
• you can talk to your computer without being sarcastic or raising your voice.
• you talk to your computer the way most people talk to their significant other.
• you use old CD-ROMs as coasters…
• …and you’ve collected a matching set for every room in your house.
• with the exception of the blood-sucking part, you have the same basic characteristics as a vampire.

• You might be a bad driver if... you've ever offered someone inordinate sums of money for the damage because if the insurance company hears about one more accident... your friends would rather walk five miles barefoot on asfault in 110 degree heat than accept a ride from you. you go to leave the frat party stone......
• You might be computer illiterate if... A list from 10+ years ago... you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge. there is writing on the white-out on your screen -you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-) someone asks you how to......
• You might be a child of the 80s if... You might be an child of the 80s if... 1. You are more in love with New Kids On The Block than N'Sync. 2. Shopping is still your favorite past-time. 3. Rambo is still your hero. 4. You own every single Rocky film on DVD. 5. You love to shop......
• You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
• If operating systems ran your car. Posted to: alt.folklore.computers From: David Zykin Date: Thurs, Nov 3 1994 3:02 am MS-DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys. Windows:  You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is......
• You might be a coffee snob if... -you heat the coffee mug before pouring your coffee -you brew your own coffee at work -...from fresh ground whole beans -...stored in a climate and humidity-controlled environment -...in your own coffee maker -you refuse to patronize Starbucks since they simplified their daytime brew offering. -...and you know the name......

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(Tip:  To report spam, follow @spam on Twitter and then direct message the @username – e..g., “d spam @spammer”)

You @-reply people you don’t follow with links.

You still have the default avatar (Hint to anyone who hasn’t yet)

You have been suspended on a regular basis: “Sorry, the account you were headed to has been suspended due to strange activity. Mosey along now, nothing to see here.”

You have one update, yet you add 100 people to your follow list every day.

You repeat your same tweet w/ blog post several times a day, and freely admit that it wasn’t a technical glitch on the part of your Twitter client.

Shamwow

Your followers count is in the single digits, but you’re following 100-1000 people.

Your URL goes to a horribly ugly site with black and red bold sans-serif text, sporadic yellow highlights, occasional ALL CAPS and exclamation POINTS on a white background!!!

You URL has a video of you pulling $2,000 cash.

You are following nor followed by anyone, and regularly send @reply messages advertising your product.

You follow people at random and drop them as soon as they’re following you.

You have a “system” for making lots of money.

Automatic direct messages with links to new followers.

“Be-a-magpie”

Your “name” associated with your Twitter ID consists of a 6-letter combo of the letters a-s-d-f.

All @replies.

No status updates.

No profile, url, default background…

• You might be a gamer if...   [/caption] You don't think of a Russian bazooka when someone says "RPG". You use game stats to describe things in a movie. (Well, Han just blew his Fast-Talk roll) You use game stats to describe things in real life. You laugh yourself silly when you hear the word......
• You might be annoying your Facebook friends if... You standard response to any emergency is to post its occurrence as your status, then deal with the emergency. ...bonus points if you solicit advice for handling the emergency via Facebook. You take every "What kind of .... are you?" quiz possible, including the "What kind of chia pet......
• You might be a runner if... the pain of not running is greater than the pain of running. you actually read a novel about running... and its sequel. Inspired by: http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?board=1&id=9545&thread=9545 ...your toenails are black. ...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does. ...you need a magnifying glass to see your name......
• You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
• You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
• You might be from Los Angeles if... This list is from the mid-90s as obvious from the third item... you know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm. getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". EVERYONE you know owns a pager and/or cell......

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1. There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so.
2. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life)
3. People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned on.
4. You can name more than 5 URL shorteners (and TinyURL is not one of them).
5. You have written your own script or program to retrieve tweets.
6. You see nothing wrong with divulging intimate details of your daily life to 100 or more complete strangers.
7. You actively check friendorfollow to see who isn’t following you back.
8. You qualify every sentence with at least one ‘#’.
9. “It’s complicated,” means that you need 141 characters to tell the story–even after shortening everything to txt abbreviations.
10. You subscribe to news outlets and blogs that feed to Twitter because using an RSS reader is just too much work.
11. You have linked rememberthemilk, Google calendar, etc. to your Twitter account.
12. You check Twitter in more than 3 ways in the span of an hour (txt, m.twitter.com, Tweetdeck, website…)
13. You see an unfamiliar “from …” Twitter application or service on someone’s tweet and stop everything to check out that application.
14. You are obsessed with maintaining your Twitter grade or TwitterRank.
15. You take Tweetwasters as a personal challenge.
16. You make a point to say good morning and good night to all of your followers.
17. Most of your nouns begin with “tw” (i.e., tweeple)
18. You tweet from the jacuzzi (from @cheapwebmonkey)
    
19. You tweet while cleaning the toilets (from @runkerrierun and @runnergoslow)

More lists:

• 16 ways to know you are addicted to Twitter
• 5 signs that you’re addicted to Twitter
• Top 10: Signs You’re Addicted to Twitter or Friendfeed

• You might be a Monty Python fan if... everytime you want to change the subject you say "and now for something completely different" you named your website Weasels and Spit when, after coming in from doing hard work, someone asked you what you've been doing you've ever replied "I just spent four hours buryin' the cat" (and......
• Your band might be a sell-out if... Your band might be a sell-out if..... 1. Music you wrote and recorded is constantly heard on top 40 radio. 2. You see yourself on MTV more than once a week. 3. You have more female fans than male fans. 4. You went to a mall and saw at least......
• You might be a bad customer if... you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain "That's how they make them at MY country club." Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don't tip. you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum......
• You might be a coffee snob if... -you heat the coffee mug before pouring your coffee -you brew your own coffee at work -...from fresh ground whole beans -...stored in a climate and humidity-controlled environment -...in your own coffee maker -you refuse to patronize Starbucks since they simplified their daytime brew offering. -...and you know the name......
• Coffee personalities of the cubicle dweller [/caption] "Who moved my coffee" - Scurries in and out of the break room every five minutes to see if coffee has been made yet.  Moves quickly to avoid being identified as someone who has seen the empty coffee pots and yet not made a pot of coffee.  Related to......
• You might be from Michigan if... You might be from Michigan if... 1. You're in a foul mood for days if the Red Wings loose a game. 2. You know what Greenfield Village is. 3. You party in Canada on the weekends. 4. You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees out. 5. You don't find sleeping......

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Funny video

“Hoof Hearted in the winner’s circle.”

• You might be a bad driver if... you've ever offered someone inordinate sums of money for the damage because if the insurance company hears about one more accident... your friends would rather walk five miles barefoot on asfault in 110 degree heat than accept a ride from you. you go to leave the frat party stone......
• You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
• You might be a runner if... the pain of not running is greater than the pain of running. you actually read a novel about running... and its sequel. Inspired by: http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?board=1&id=9545&thread=9545 ...your toenails are black. ...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does. ...you need a magnifying glass to see your name......
• You might be in the army if... you might be in the army if... after your Army boyfriend asks you a question ending with, Hooah?? You talk to your mom and dad and say: roger and negative with each question they ask. You are discharged from the Army and still drop and push 10 out when you......
• You might be from New Jersey if... you've been seriously injured at Action Park. you know that the only people who call it "Joisey" are from New York(usually The Bronx)or Texas. you don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges." you know that it's called "Great Adventure," not "Six Flags." you've ordered a hard roll......
• Diary of an AOL User One of my favorites from long ago. July 18 I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it's the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me another. I can't connect. I......