• you call your mother to ask how long to boil cabbage to make cole slaw. (Geet)
• you look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
• the smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove. (Marc R)
• you turn the bowl of rice casserole upside down and nothing gets spilled. (Allronix)
• it takes a hammer and chisel to remove said casserole from the dish. (Allronix)
• your family buys Pepto and Tums in bulk. (Allronix)
• the microwave display reads “TILT!” (Allronix)
• you open your dishwasher after living in your house for two years and the plastic is still in it.
• when you BBQ the kids won’t come outside, instead they stand inside the screen door watching you. (Brenda)
• …three of them hold water guns and the 4th has the phone with 911 on speed-dial. (Brenda)
• the last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire. ( homerunking24@hotmail.com )
• your apple pie bubbled over and ate the enamel off the bottom of the oven. ( kecia, kecia28@hotmail.com )
• you make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark! (Kecia)
• your homemade bread loaf can be used as a door stop. (Lisa)
• you can use your overcooked food as a weapon.
• your food melts plastic and silverware. ( phyr@jlink.net )
• the dog goes to the neighbors’ to eat.
• all your baked goods have the names “asphalt” or “Hockey puck.”
• you’ve ever cooked a broccoli casserole and forgot to add the broccoli.
• if you cook the leftover cut-outs of a jack-o-lantern. (Justin)
• there are bones in your toast. (Amon-Ra)
• all you cook seems to be left overs. (Amon-Ra)
• the judges in the Beverly Hills Bake-off vote for Elly May Clampett’s biscuits over yours. ( S. Hammond)
• the leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter. ( S. Hammond )
• your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a firetruck siren. ( S. Hammond )
• those annoying pest control companies keep pestering you, wanting to buy and patent your recipe for candy christmas cookies. ( S. Hammond )
• you used three boxes of scouring pads, a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, but that macaroni and cheese still won’t let go of the pan! ( S. Hammond )
• you’ve ever burned through the bottom of a pan while cooking. ( S. Hammond )
• you forget and leave a gallon of your homemade ice cream on the porch overnight during a record busting heatwave and the next afternoon, not only is it still solid, but it tastes better. ( S. Hammond )
• the EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red ‘biohazard’ symbols. ( S. Hammond )
• you refer to flour moth larvae as ‘a little extra free protein.’ ( S. Hammond )
• anyone has ever broken a tooth while eating your homemade yougurt. ( S. Hammond )
• your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine days old tastes like. ( S. Hammond )
• you tell them that the grey fuzzy stuff on top of it ‘is good for them.’ ( S. Hammond )
• if you avoid the hassle of having to ever reseason your cast iron skillet by always leaving the remains of the last thing you cooked in there for ‘flavor.’ (Remember that Star Trek episode, ‘Mudd’s Women’?) ( S. Hammond )
• you hate rice, but you keep finding it floating around in your beef stew.
• there’s no such thing as an unusable leftover. ( S. Hammond )
• you know dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off. (Scott Smith)
• you really have messed up a salad.
• the family pets are no where to be found during dinner
• around dinnertime, the family seems really interested in going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing the health inspection.
• you have cooked dishes that are more appetizing after two months in the back of the fridge.

• You might be a runner if... http://www.letsrun.com/forum/flat_read.php?board=1&id=9545&thread=9545 ...your toenails are black. ...your shoes have more miles on them than your car does. ...you need a magnifying glass to see your name in the paper. ...you have chafing in strange places. ...people say, "You run three miles...at once?" ...all your socks are either stained or torn. ...your......
• You might be a gamer if... You don't think of a Russian bazooka when someone says "RPG". You use game stats to describe things in a movie. (Well, Han just blew his Fast-Talk roll) You use game stats to describe things in real life. You laugh yourself silly when you hear the word "Gazebo". The......
• You might be a classic rock fan if... You might be a classic rock fan if... 1. You can identify every guitar you see by make and model. 2. You have season passes to the rock and roll hall of fame. 3. You've restored and STILL run your black 1970 Challenger with flames on the side,complete with 8-Track......
• You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
• ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO TEXAS 1.  Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use  it. 2.  Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can.  Just stay home the two days of the year it snows. 3. If you do run your car into......

• Kitty litter to the rescue! No, seriously -- it works really well at getting rid of smoke odor. I bought a collection of California Raisin figurines at a yard sale for a decent price. They were a little dirty but they're durable, so they withstood scrubbing to get the grime off. Then I smelled the......
• July 4th Celebrations on a Budget No holiday is as well-suited to summer fun as the Fourth of July. Good food, fireworks, and warm weather make it the perfect summer holiday. It is not always, however, the most affordable celebration. Buying food, planning entertainment, and decorating your home can be expensive. If you’re planning a Fourth......
• Baked Goods Can Be Part of Your Diet Many people trying to lose weight think that they must cut baked goods out of their daily diets. They think that because baked goods like cookies, bread, and cake contain carbohydrates and fats, that there is no way at all to fit them into a healthy meal plan. I'd like......
• Snack Foods - Easy Ways To Save Nearly everything comes in convenient snack pack sizes these days. While their size may be small, their price is certainly not. We make it a habit here in the Not Made Of Money household to make our own snacks. With just a little bit of advance planning, we have our......
• Your 2007 holiday shopping survival guide Wal-Mart got into the holiday spirit at the beginning of October, well before the jack-o-lanterns got packed away, announcing that it would be cutting prices on popular items this year. As we drove back from my parents' house over Columbus Day weekend, we stopped at a Wegman's in northern Pennsylvania.......

Tags: bad cook