You might be a bachelor if…
*Â you eat frozen pizza without microwaving it. ( you can cook those things? )
* you use a stapler to adjust the length of your trousers. ( Bert van Viegen, viegen )
* you get your furniture out of the clean up pile and then brag about how it didn’t cost you a thing. (Karen, KarenW )
* you sniff your underwear to see if you can get by just one more day without doing the wash. ( Lisa, demick )
* you actually use the following link: How to Get a date
* your refrigerator is packed full of tupperware dishes filled with molded smelly food because you just don’t want to wash them. ( Lisa, demick )
* you’ve bought the Ziploc disposable plasticware so that you won’t have to wash containers with molded food.
* you open a food container in the frige to see what it is but can’t, and then you smell it and it knocks you unconscious. ( Lisa, demick )
* the only thing that snuggles next to you in bed is your dog and/or cat. (Lisa)
* you actually have money in your savings account. (Lisa)
* you bought clean guest towels 3 years ago and they are still hanging up, unused. (Lisa)
* you haven’t cooked in so long you’ve forgotten where things are in your kitchen and what buttons to use on the stove.
* you own a home, but behave like an apartment dweller ( pazmenot )
* you’ve often wondered how many empty pizza boxes constitutes a collection. ( sdali )
* the only kitchen appliance you know how to use is the microwave. ( Jorge D. )
* you have a disproportionate number of plastic utensils and paper plates vs. real silverware and plates.
* you haven’t eaten a meal at home that wasn’t in a disposable container.
* you don’t know how to take out the trash. (tman399 )
* you have to look to see how clean your apartment is and not how full your calendar is to decide when to go out on a date. (Barbie, ValleGrly )
* you smell your clothes to see if you can wear them (again). (Barbie)
* you can clean engine parts in the bathtub without someone yelling at you.
* you buy a really big trashcan for the kitchen so you don’t have to take it out as often.
* you amuse yourself by lobbing beercans so that they bounce off the wall before hitting aforementioned trash can.
* it takes you ten minutes every six months to buy new clothes (Let’s see, I’m out of jeans, white T-shirts, black T-shirts, and socks..)
* you don’t feel compelled to wear underwear unless you have a date that night.
* you car gets waxed more often than the toilet gets cleaned. (People clean toilets?)
* you belch and fart in public without apologizing. (Bert van Viegen, viegen )
* you turn your socks and underwear inside out so you can wear them twice as long. (Laura Goodwin, LaLaura )
* you have the pizza place on speed dial. (Matt Duxbury, autobahn )
* instead of cleaning for guests, you just keep the lights low. (Matt D.)
* paper towels double as dishes. (Matt D.)
* BEER is the freshest item in the fridge. (Matt D.)
* …beer is the ONLY item in the fridge.
* you never listen to your messages when a female is around (Matt D.)
* your entire house is trashed except for you entertainment center, which you lovingly polish every day (Amy R.).
* If cooking anything longer than five minutes is a waste of time (Marc L., glumarc )
* The last time you cleaned the house was when you moved in (Marc L.)
* A dress shirt is “fine” if it only has one or two wrinkles in it (Marc L.)
* You think you left your tie on the nightstand…or was it the closet? (Marc L.)
* You don’t feel guilty about leaving the lid up (Marc L.)