*  you eat frozen pizza without microwaving it. ( you can cook those things? )
* you use a stapler to adjust the length of your trousers. ( Bert van Viegen, viegen )
* you get your furniture out of the clean up pile and then brag about how it didn’t cost you a thing. (Karen, KarenW )
* you sniff your underwear to see if you can get by just one more day without doing the wash. ( Lisa, demick )
* you actually use the following link: How to Get a date
* your refrigerator is packed full of tupperware dishes filled with molded smelly food because you just don’t want to wash them. ( Lisa, demick )
* you’ve bought the Ziploc disposable plasticware so that you won’t have to wash containers with molded food.
* you open a food container in the frige to see what it is but can’t, and then you smell it and it knocks you unconscious. ( Lisa, demick )
* the only thing that snuggles next to you in bed is your dog and/or cat. (Lisa)
* you actually have money in your savings account. (Lisa)
* you bought clean guest towels 3 years ago and they are still hanging up, unused. (Lisa)

* you haven’t cooked in so long you’ve forgotten where things are in your kitchen and what buttons to use on the stove.
* you own a home, but behave like an apartment dweller ( pazmenot )
* you’ve often wondered how many empty pizza boxes constitutes a collection. ( sdali )
* the only kitchen appliance you know how to use is the microwave. ( Jorge D. )
* you have a disproportionate number of plastic utensils and paper plates vs. real silverware and plates.
* you haven’t eaten a meal at home that wasn’t in a disposable container.
* you don’t know how to take out the trash. (tman399 )

* you have to look to see how clean your apartment is and not how full your calendar is to decide when to go out on a date. (Barbie, ValleGrly )
* you smell your clothes to see if you can wear them (again). (Barbie)
* you can clean engine parts in the bathtub without someone yelling at you.
* you buy a really big trashcan for the kitchen so you don’t have to take it out as often.
* you amuse yourself by lobbing beercans so that they bounce off the wall before hitting aforementioned trash can.
* it takes you ten minutes every six months to buy new clothes (Let’s see, I’m out of jeans, white T-shirts, black T-shirts, and socks..)
* you don’t feel compelled to wear underwear unless you have a date that night.
* you car gets waxed more often than the toilet gets cleaned. (People clean toilets?)
* you belch and fart in public without apologizing. (Bert van Viegen, viegen )
* you turn your socks and underwear inside out so you can wear them twice as long. (Laura Goodwin, LaLaura )
* you have the pizza place on speed dial. (Matt Duxbury, autobahn )
* instead of cleaning for guests, you just keep the lights low. (Matt D.)
* paper towels double as dishes. (Matt D.)
* BEER is the freshest item in the fridge. (Matt D.)
* …beer is the ONLY item in the fridge.
* you never listen to your messages when a female is around (Matt D.)
* your entire house is trashed except for you entertainment center, which you lovingly polish every day (Amy R.).
* If cooking anything longer than five minutes is a waste of time (Marc L., glumarc )
* The last time you cleaned the house was when you moved in (Marc L.)
* A dress shirt is “fine” if it only has one or two wrinkles in it (Marc L.)
* You think you left your tie on the nightstand…or was it the closet? (Marc L.)
* You don’t feel guilty about leaving the lid up (Marc L.)

• IT Light Bulb Jokes Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four hundred and seventy-two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle... Q: How many technical support personnel does it take to change a light bulb? A: We have an exact copy......
• You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
• If operating systems ran your car. Posted to: alt.folklore.computers From: David Zykin Date: Thurs, Nov 3 1994 3:02 am MS-DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put your keys. Windows:  You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly, because attached to the back of the car is......
• You might be a gamer if... You don't think of a Russian bazooka when someone says "RPG". You use game stats to describe things in a movie. (Well, Han just blew his Fast-Talk roll) You use game stats to describe things in real life. You laugh yourself silly when you hear the word "Gazebo". The......
• You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......

• Vintage Sports Memorabilia If you are looking for a hobby or an endeavor that is exciting and profitable and you enjoy sports of any kind, then you may want to consider giving sports memorabilia collecting a chance. Maybe you have always had a serious interest in a sport team or a sporting event.......
• Learning About Bottom Freezer Refrigerators There are a few reasons why getting a new kitchen appliance can sound right for your folks. Specifically we're going to look at buying a new refrigerator. And if you are watching out for a new trend to get your kitchen on the right track then the Bottom fridge refrigerators......
• How To Start A Record Label - Part 2 By Trevor M of soundsxp.com: Getting down to the nitty gritty of the things you actually have to do to make a release and promote it there are a number of areas that need to be thought about. On the manufacturing side - Do you home print the sleeves? Do......
• Get Helpful Advice About Clickbank Marketplace Clickbank Clickbank outlet has set a products in to categories as well as these categories in to sub-categories. You can coiffe a products along popularity, lanky sincerity, low sobriety as fit as along trustworthy convey lottery. Every production has a description, that creates a easier. Clickbank marketplace 1. Clickbank Marketplace......
• iDon't - Google Android Ad Takes Aim At Apple In case you haven't seen it, Google has created a pretty clever ad aimed at Apple's iPhone: The ad highlights all of the chief complaints people have with Apple's iPhone.  In my mind, this is the first pretty decent advertising response to Apple in recent years.  Microsoft, with their "I'm......

Tags: bachelor