YouMightBe.com's humor lists

A collection of humor lists from user submissions and usenet postings.

You might be a South Park junkie if…

TAGS: None

Your TV has been on Comedy Central for so long that just the image has burned into the lower right corner of the screen.

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  • You might be a Buffy Junkie if... You might be a buffy junkie if... # Own a full set of at least one season of Buffy cards # Are always relating everyday situations back to a Buffy episode # Can describe in full detail the relationship between Buffy and Spike from beginning to end # Know what......
  • Snow Portmanteau The following are ways of expressing the snow hysteria (especially on Twitter): snOMG snowmageddon snoWTF ohsnowudidnt snoverkill snowicane snopacalypse Added: Some other snow portmanteau may be found on A Daily Portmanteau: Snowmenclature, including:  snovice, snowhere, snowonder, snowbegone, snowmad, state of snomergency, snoway, snovacaine, snoxious, snowbotomy, snooky, snowcreation, snaction... From TSNONami -......
  • You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
  • Your band might be a sell-out if... Your band might be a sell-out if..... 1. Music you wrote and recorded is constantly heard on top 40 radio. 2. You see yourself on MTV more than once a week. 3. You have more female fans than male fans. 4. You went to a mall and saw at least......
  • You might be a spammer if... You put tracking/randomization numbers in your subject lines: Cash-flow-74002006 Your entire message body is composed of images, without any description text. gmail can't seem to "preview in html" the pdf you attached. Your sender name includes one of the following words: panel, notice, meds, travel, survey Note: I said......
  • You might be a Fear Factor addict if... You might be a fear factor addict if... You say grace like this: In 3...2...1...GO! You can recite Joe's disclaimer at the beginning (the stunts you're about to see...) You've ever cooked with worms you've actually tried to jump from building to building. You're used to the taste of buffalo's......
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You might be a redneck if…

TAGS: None

…you ever farted on an airline and caused it to make an emergency landing.

…you spend more money on your wife’s hair products than you do your child’s education.

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  • You might be from Los Angeles if... This list is from the mid-90s as obvious from the third item... you know it's best not to be on the 405 at 4:05 pm. getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about "twenty minutes". EVERYONE you know owns a pager and/or cell......
  • You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
  • You might be a Twitter Spammer if... (Tip:  To report spam, follow @spam on Twitter and then direct message the @username - e..g., "d spam @spammer") You @-reply people you don't follow with links. You still have the default avatar (Hint to anyone who hasn't yet) You have been suspended on a regular basis: "Sorry, the account......
  • You might be in the army if... you might be in the army if... after your Army boyfriend asks you a question ending with, Hooah?? You talk to your mom and dad and say: roger and negative with each question they ask. You are discharged from the Army and still drop and push 10 out when you......
  • You might be making your coworkers uncomfortable if... (See also Grumpy Coworker) you ask your black coworkers why their people are always trying to keep the white man down. you openly discuss your menstrual cycle. If someone points out the fact that you're a man, bring them up on sexual harassment charges. you push your desk away from......
  • Diary of an AOL User One of my favorites from long ago. July 18 I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it's the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd better hold onto it in case they don't ever send me another. I can't connect. I......
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(More) You might be a band geek if…

Tags:

…one time, you went to band camp and came back with a girlfriend.

…you actually like wearing your marching uniform.

…you have your band director on speed dial.

…you have your band director as an emergency contact. (…but what if you’re at band camp??)

…you have your high band teacher’s home AND cell numbers on speed dial.

…you name your instrument.

…you cried when you found out you couldn’t be in band.

…you tell your friends its a band thing and they understand.

…you’ve dated everyone in the band and wonder if you’ll ever have another date again.

…you think Louie Louie is the best song ever.

…playing star down with the drum major isn’t fun anymore.

…you direct the songs on the radio.

…you know (from experience) that the band director is always right.

Related Posts
  • Your band might be a sell-out if... Your band might be a sell-out if..... 1. Music you wrote and recorded is constantly heard on top 40 radio. 2. You see yourself on MTV more than once a week. 3. You have more female fans than male fans. 4. You went to a mall and saw at least......
  • You might be a classic rock fan if... You might be a classic rock fan if... 1. You can identify every guitar you see by make and model. 2. You have season passes to the rock and roll hall of fame. 3. You've restored and STILL run your black 1970 Challenger with flames on the side,complete with 8-Track......
  • You might be computer illiterate if... A list from 10+ years ago... you slide the mouse pad over when the mouse gets to the edge. there is writing on the white-out on your screen -you can't figure out what a colon followed by a minus sign and a parenthesis means :-) someone asks you how to......
  • You might be a band geek if... during concert season you wish you where out on the field. ( Jennie *Goober* ) you can be found before school, at lunch, and after school down in front of the band room with all the other band members. ( Jennie *Goober* ) you spend more time in the......
  • You might be a cheesehead if... Much like the redneck lists, the good lists make you wonder if the person is putting himself down for being one. You might be a Cheesehead if... 1. If your idea of a 7-course meal is a Brat and a 6-pack... you might be a Cheesehead! 2. If the Packer......
  • You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......
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You might be a Cat Lover if…

TAGS: None

you carry Febreeze with you daily.

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  • You might be a spammer if... You put tracking/randomization numbers in your subject lines: Cash-flow-74002006 Your entire message body is composed of images, without any description text. gmail can't seem to "preview in html" the pdf you attached. Your sender name includes one of the following words: panel, notice, meds, travel, survey Note: I said......
  • You might be a cat lover if... your cat has a Twitter account. ...and tweets more often than you. ...and you @mention your cat in your own tweets. you cut your after-work activities short just so you can get home to see your cat. you dare not move a muscle when kitty falls asleep at your......
  • You might be a biker if... going 4-wheeling means your old lady has her own bike. your gloves don't have any fingers. you prefer to pee outside. your beer preference is BEER. you treat your leather better than your woman. you wash your bike more than you wash yourself. rock-and-roll is the only kind of......
  • You might be a bad customer if... you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain "That's how they make them at MY country club." Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don't tip. you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum......
  • You might be addicted to Twitter if... There is a bird-chirping noise coming from your computer every minute or so. You refer to people as @nickname outside of Twitter (seek help if you refer to them that way in real life) People have threatened to un-friend you on Facebook because you have the Twitter app turned......
  • You might be a cat lover if... You might be a cat lover if... --You laugh or say, "Oh, aren't you clever," when your cats misbehave. --Your cat's picture is your wallpaper on your computer at work. --You get into discussions with people about whose cat(s) are smarter/funnier/cuter. . . --including your boss and your mother. --You......

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