…you’ve seen Talladega Nights more than 3 times.

• You might be a dog lover if... your bedroom door has a doggie door. ( Lisa C. ) your dog owns more clothing and toys than your neighbor's children. you have more pictures of your dog than of any other family member including yourself. you allow your dog to join you in the bath but not......
• Snow Portmanteau The following are ways of expressing the snow hysteria (especially on Twitter): snOMG snowmageddon snoWTF ohsnowudidnt snoverkill snowicane snopacalypse Added: Some other snow portmanteau may be found on A Daily Portmanteau: Snowmenclature, including:  snovice, snowhere, snowonder, snowbegone, snowmad, state of snomergency, snoway, snovacaine, snoxious, snowbotomy, snooky, snowcreation, snaction... From TSNONami -......
• You might be a Monty Python fan if... everytime you want to change the subject you say "and now for something completely different" you named your website Weasels and Spit when, after coming in from doing hard work, someone asked you what you've been doing you've ever replied "I just spent four hours buryin' the cat" (and......
• Coffee personalities of the cubicle dweller [/caption] "Who moved my coffee" - Scurries in and out of the break room every five minutes to see if coffee has been made yet.  Moves quickly to avoid being identified as someone who has seen the empty coffee pots and yet not made a pot of coffee.  Related to......
• You might be a bad customer if... you instruct the bartender on how to make a drink because, very loudly, you explain "That's how they make them at MY country club." Then you wait to receive your .19 cents in change and don't tip. you go into a convenience store and buy a pack of gum......
• You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......

• you’ve ever offered someone inordinate sums of money for the damage because if the insurance company hears about one more accident…
• your friends would rather walk five miles barefoot on asfault in 110 degree heat than accept a ride from you.
• you go to leave the frat party stone sober and your roomate still insists on hiding your kes and calling a cab.
• people ask you about “the accident”, and you reply, which one?
• the instructor finally gave up and let YOU teach traffic school. (Mavis)
• you see a sign that says, “Lane ends 500 FT,” and you manage to drive in the lane for another 1/2 mile.
• you have the policeman hold your beer while you get your license. (Kealoha)
• you’ve ever changed a full set of clothes and/or re-done your makeup while on the freeway.
• you’ve had your license for two months and you’re already an experienced ditch digger.
• you find yourself trying to beat that old granny before she makes it to the zebra crossing. ( Stu )
• ….and you always lose, but not before it’s too late. ( Stu )
• you slow down when coming to green lights…
• …and speed up on yellow.
• you hit a tree and your brother tells you your getting rusty cause you missed the center of the car by a fraction of an inch. (Lee)
• you take your eyes off the road and both hands off the steering whell to help your passenger put on their seat belt while driving 65 MPH down the freeway. (Lisa)
• you rear end someone at a stop light and then jump out screaming, “Whip lash!!!” (Lisa)
• you use your knees for steering more than your hands.
• the police department knows your plate number by heart.
• the police carry separate tickets with your information filled out already.
• you think red lights & stop signs are a suggestion (Amon-Ra)
• you’ve ever asked anyone what a raised finger means because “I get that all the time.”
• you replace your airbag more often than your oil.
• you walk into traffic court and everyone shouts out your name.
• you get pulled over for drunk driving and you are stone sober. (Ken McKinney)
• you think you have a flat when you hear thump, thump, thump. It’s actually just you clipping the orange and white barrels. (Ken McKinney)
• Curb? What curb? (Ken McKinney)
• you are the only car in the parking lot and you STILL hit a light pole. (Ken McKinney)
• you stop on an on ramp and wait for “enough room”. (Ken McKinney)
• you have ever hit the car in front of you while YOU were trying to back up. (Ken McKinney)
• you tell your passenger what a good driver you are as you turn into a ditch. 
• you swerve to miss a tree… and it’s your air freshener. (Scott)
• all anyone can see when you drive is your knuckles. (Visitor submission)
• your turn sign signal is always blinking in the direction opposite to the one you’re turning.
• you drive 90 MPH in bumper to bumper traffic and always pass on the right (Colonel)
• you think the signal switch is something that just gets in your way whenever you reach for your coffee.

• (More) You might be a band geek if... ...one time, you went to band camp and came back with a girlfriend. ...you actually like wearing your marching uniform. ...you have your band director on speed dial. ...you have your band director as an emergency contact. (...but what if you're at band camp??) ...you have your high band teacher's......
• You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
• You might be a Foursquare addict if... you patronize new places that you have no interest in just because you get more points. you volunteer to go to the mall with your significant other because of the travel bonus for each of the 20 shops you'll hit. and you're really hoping for that overshare badge this......
• You might be a cheapskate if... I'm wondering if this was submitted by a soon-to-be ex-wife: You might be a cheapskate if...... 1. You concentrate on lowest prices than quality of an item. 2. You've ever went Christmas shopping at Goodwill. 3. You bought your wife her anniversary present at a yard sale. 4. Your brand......
• Random thoughts Yet another e-mail forward: I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only......
• You might be a caffeine addict if... you think sleep is for the weak.  you've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend" (Naz) you believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable. you have a website......

• Take the Biking Trip You Will Always Remember One thing many people look forward to every year is...
• Hike of the Bald Mountain Trail in the Sierra Azul Open Space Preserve Summary: This is a hike of the Bald Mountain Trail,...
• Traffic Voodoo 2.0 By Jeff Johnson Discvoer these 11 sources of Traffic Voodoo 2.0 Non Stop...
• Contra Costa County Hike of the Contra Costa Canal Trail Summary: This is a 4.9 mile out and back hike...
• The 10 Best Ways to Lose a Sale… and How to Avoid Them These 10 mistakes made by some small businesses will have...
• 105 Burpees Non-Stop by a 288 lb Fat Man Update: Here is a video of me completing a 100...

You have even gotten mad at someone and told them “You will be assimilated”

• You might be a spammer if... You put tracking/randomization numbers in your subject lines: Cash-flow-74002006 Your entire message body is composed of images, without any description text. gmail can't seem to "preview in html" the pdf you attached. Your sender name includes one of the following words: panel, notice, meds, travel, survey Note: I said......
• Snow Portmanteau The following are ways of expressing the snow hysteria (especially on Twitter): snOMG snowmageddon snoWTF ohsnowudidnt snoverkill snowicane snopacalypse Added: Some other snow portmanteau may be found on A Daily Portmanteau: Snowmenclature, including:  snovice, snowhere, snowonder, snowbegone, snowmad, state of snomergency, snoway, snovacaine, snoxious, snowbotomy, snooky, snowcreation, snaction... From TSNONami -......
• You might be a biker if... going 4-wheeling means your old lady has her own bike. your gloves don't have any fingers. you prefer to pee outside. your beer preference is BEER. you treat your leather better than your woman. you wash your bike more than you wash yourself. rock-and-roll is the only kind of......
• 66+ signs you've been in the [marching] band too long Started by: Lori Dyer When you hear music and you start marking time. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song. When all your friends are in the band. When you don't mind changing clothes on......
• You might be a bad driver if... you've ever offered someone inordinate sums of money for the damage because if the insurance company hears about one more accident... your friends would rather walk five miles barefoot on asfault in 110 degree heat than accept a ride from you. you go to leave the frat party stone......
• Coffee personalities of the cubicle dweller [/caption] "Who moved my coffee" - Scurries in and out of the break room every five minutes to see if coffee has been made yet.  Moves quickly to avoid being identified as someone who has seen the empty coffee pots and yet not made a pot of coffee.  Related to......

…you have memorized the first 10000 digits of pi…  BACKWARDS.

• You might be a computer geek if... This was inspired by a site that apparently no longer exists.  I'm starting this one from scratch. you rejoice at the trend toward DRM-free mp3s on Amazon, iTunes, etc... you're a card-carrying member of the EFF when you have to write with a pen, you find yourself using the Palm......
• You might be a caffeine addict if... you think sleep is for the weak.  you've just had your 20th cup of coffee within 20 minutes on a Friday afternoon, at 4 o'clock, just so "the milk doesn't go bad over the weekend" (Naz) you believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable. you have a website......
• You might be a cheapskate if... I'm wondering if this was submitted by a soon-to-be ex-wife: You might be a cheapskate if...... 1. You concentrate on lowest prices than quality of an item. 2. You've ever went Christmas shopping at Goodwill. 3. You bought your wife her anniversary present at a yard sale. 4. Your brand......
• You might be a Canadian if... You might be a Canadian if... You're not offended by the term "HOMO MILK". You understand the phrase "Could you pass me a serviette, i just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield." You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars. You drink pop, not soda. You know that a mickey and......
• You might be Filipino if... you don't see a problem with spaghetti [with sauce], white rice, and fried chicken on the same plate. you take brownies to non-Filipino potluck dinners. you have a cartful of corned beef during a sale. you say kutex instead of nail polish. you are stumped when asked what kind......
• You might be a nurse if... your friends call you for medical advice. ( lloyd , avatarj@mindspring.com ) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you (Mary) you have the bladder capacity of five people you have your weekends off planned for a year in advance you believe that "ask-a-nurse" is an......