You might be a history major if….
1. You find yourself correcting your parents on their history (especially since the last history class they had was in high school…apparently, my dad thinks that Frank Lloyd Wright was one of the Wright Bros.).
2. You find yourself correcting YOUR PROFESSORS on their history…and they admit they’re wrong.
3. You enjoy watching the History Channel.
4. You tape history biopics.
5. You tape history documentaries.
6. You imagine yourself making commentaries on history like the historians do in the documentaries.
7. Your personal library has several books on history.
8. You buy old, used history textbooks at the Used Book Store.
9. Your parents ask you for questions related to history.
10. Family members ask you for questions related to history.
11. You are preoccupied with what you are going to write your master’s thesis on while you’re at the end of your sophomore year in college.
12. Ever since you got that A in world history back in high school, you’ve wanted to take it over again (though it wasn’t allowed).
13. Your friends back in jr. high kept telling you how “useless” history is.
14. You told your friends how USEFUL history is back in jr. high.
15. You shudder at the thought of majoring in something boring like business or finance.
16. You’ve often pondered things like, “what would happen if Napoleon won the Battle of Waterloo?”
17. You felt the History Channel was dumbing down its audience when they came up with the show called “hands-on history.”
18. You got upset when the History channel cancelled the show, “In Search of History.”
19. You often imagine what it’s like to be in a particular era in time.
20. You’re into your junior year of college and you’re still figuring out what kind of history to specialize in.
21. Various historical figures make your list of “most admired people”
23. Your personal hero lived over 500 years ago.
24. Your #1 destination is the Library at Alexandria
25. You remember the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World and get upset when people get it wrong (which is all the time)
26. You correct mistakes in your history textbooks and you’re in high school.
27. You observe your favorite historical figures’ birthdays and death anniversaries.
28. You got digital cable because that’s the only way you can get the History Channel where you live.
29. You complain about inaccuracies in “historical” films.

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You might be a freshman in highschool if…
1. You sign up for every club available.
2. You make a point of dressing like and acting like the social group you wish to infiltrate…
3. …and habitually walk by their “spot” an average of 12.5694 times each lunch…
4. …buying food each time so you don’t look suspicious
5. You walk around pretending to be drunk and/or stoned
6. Someone calls you a tweaker and you say “thank you”
7. You still think guys have cooties…
8. …and still chase them around at lunch
9. “you know, you don’t seem like a typical freshman” is a compliment of the highest caliber.
10. You walk around asking people if they’re “Gothic”
11. You don’t know what a poseur is.
12. Teen magazine is your bible.
13. You are on intimate terms with a trashcan.
You actually fall for that one about the pool being on the 3rd floor.
You shut yourself in your locker when that football playing senior walks by.
You’re the one hanging from the hook in the coaches office because you were in the way again.
–You have no idea what “the Commons” is
–You are the towel boy…for the Arm-Wrestling Club
–”Is this island completely surrounded by water?”
–You ask the school counselor about taking a class in the “custodial arts” cause a Senior suggested it to you.
–Get spotted in the Greenhouse because someone told you it was the Sex Loft.
–Stole a book…from the school library
-you are intimately acquainted with the insides of every dumpster on campus
-you actually bought an elevator pass, and your school only has one floor.

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